Wednesday, November 25, 2015


Hadn't updated in here in a bit. It's been busy what with sorting out a new agent (agh!). Today at the spot by Bank. More later.

8250 which is miserable, but sent out a number of emails and chatted with a friend and generally tried to not feel too ill. Also some notes. So there's that.

Monday, November 16, 2015


Beginning at 6145. At the Metropolitan Pub at Baker Street. Eating a Mexican-ish salad.

6431, hopefully more later.

Sunday, November 15, 2015


Yesterday created the entire family tree and worked out all of the deaths in poor Maxtorious' family. Today just a bit of writing in while waiting for Max at a bowling birthday party. 

Started at 5889, deleted some, edited other bits, add a little and (so far) ending at 6145 because I need to go buy Tony a birthday card.

Thursday, November 12, 2015


Started today at 5128. Currently at 5790. 662 so far, all at the local bakery while listening to Maureen alternately chide and encourage local residents. Taking a bit of a break while they are mowing the lawn outside, perhaps for some painting because I have a general feeling of ennui and annoyance.

End of day (probably). Wound up at 5889.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015


Spent the morning at home waiting on the ant exterminator to show up (for it to prove to be only an initial visit and not the actual treatment). Did clean up my office though, which it has been in desperate need of for eons. Now out because I need to get stuff to make dinner (chicken noodle soup) and because Rosa will be in to clean and I have a hard time working with a vacuum running. At Lowry & Baker, drinking my latte and smelling all the loveliness cooking. I think I might have gained a kilo sniffing everything.

At any rate, kicking off at 4817 today. Going to perhaps not go straight on and just write up some bits that I want to get down before I forget them.

5128 now. Not a lot, but also some work on the map and other details.

And annoyed. Things I am not good at: dealing with passive aggressive posh mums.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015


Today at Curzon Soho. Starting at 4435.

Thinking. Aiming for 42,000 words on this book. I average around 2000 words per chapter. That makes 21 chapters total. 37,5656 words left to go. Which, if I do my normal 1000 words a day, means a finished draft in roughly 37 days.

Strangely enough, there are exactly 37 weekdays left in this year. Of course, some of those days are holidays and a chunk of them are while Max is off school. But.

1:34 PM. 4814 and kind of meh about it. Stopping for now because not sure the transition between chapters is working but knowing I need to get on with the action. Maybe stop a bit and map out some chapters. Off to Chinatown to buy Max some more seaweed.

Monday, November 09, 2015


National Theatre for an office today. Blogged on official site for first time in eons. Starting at 3401. Update later (coffee first).

4435 and done as I think it will be today. 1034 words. Forward progress.

Friday, November 06, 2015

Too much, so skipping ahead

Will write about all the goings on later, or not.

Posting to track wordcount. 2679 at the moment, though I'd forgotten I was going to track things and had already made a bit of forward progress. So, eh, maybe 2665? No idea. Close enough. Later.

Later...3402. But need to go buy some chocolate. And the people next to me are chatty. Hopefully more later.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Better, maybe

One. Gave up on the idea of that job as it wasn't worth it. Pay wasn't enough to offset the likely childcare issues, especially after taxes. Generally speaking, nothing at which I am good at or inclined to do pays enough to make it worthwhile going after, at least not while Max is young. If I could find some project work or something like that, it would be good. The problem being, again, that everything I'm good at (i.e. writing / editing / etc) pays essentially nothing.

Not that continuing to write books is really any better as I don't think I've even earned out my advance on my last one and likely will never earn it out on my third one (as lovely & fun as that book was). If you think about it in a number of hours vs. income produced kind of way, it's absolute rubbish. Worse than rubbish. Logically, it's stupid. Spock would be face-palming me.


Two. All that said, am feeling a bit better about the book. I think it is salvageable. I think I can do it. I think that, right now, it is weak and it needs help. But there are parts that are good. And once it is done, it could really work. Some of the characters are great. Others just aren't there yet. But it isn't hopeless.

I am trying to be hopeful.

I am also freaking out about things that I am not allowed to talk about at all, so there's that. Not that anyone sees this, but still, it's technically out there on the wild and wooly Internet. So no peeps from me.

But. Oy.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Decisions, decisions

So. Maybe it's not as do or die as it feels like it is, but today I'm trying to decide whether or not I should perhaps give up on writing another book. Like, ever. Or at least in the next few years, which, let's be honest, probably means forever-ish. Because that's the way life is.

There is the need to make actual money which is becoming more pressing and more real, not so much amorphous guilt as in the past but something more concrete. As in, something to contribute to the family budget. Last year I made absolutely nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. So far this year I've made $3500...not from writing, but from the sale of YABC (via MG to CJ). It's not looking all that good for making any money from writing this year either.

I have been stalled on this Hildie book for ages. Eons. All of the Chicago bits came out so well, so easily, so deceptively "oh isn't this a lovely book, this is going to be gads of fun" but then all the London bits have been horrible. Stilted. I've tossed so many words from this book. More than normal. The hubby did give me a little epiphany the other night -- "Why," he asked, "does it have to be London? Why not leave it in the US?" And I had that "Oh. Hmm." feeling. I mean, I feel like I had / have good reasons for it. I usually love to write about where I am. It makes it easier (usually). You can scout locations. Research stuff. Etc. And as I want to sell a book over here in the UK vs. in the US, I thought that would be a good angle as well. Thought this would be the easiest way to do that -- an American in London, gee, I can write that, right? But the thing is that the dialog of the UK peeps just isn't flowing. I could probably pull off posh British people but I am having a hell of a time capturing the underbelly of London society.

I just don't really know people like that. Sure, you see 'em on the street and I can listen to them on the Tube and in pubs, but I don't KNOW them. I can't get the feel of them. They are like slippery eels. I don't think they are feeling authentic. AT ALL. Which sucks. It is, quite frankly, not working.

I am going to read it all over again today and confirm that to myself. It's been set aside while Max was off school so I've got distance at the moment. Is it worth trudging on or would I be better scrapping all the London bits and just having them run off to Florida (i.e. somewhere I know)?

Or should I pick up the Death book, which has a shorter word count, and finish that?

Or try some new idea, like a middle grade book, which has less word count still and see if I can make that work? Faster to write, faster (hopefully) to market.

There are also bits of me that are doubting whether I can pull off a book for adults. Maybe I just can't write "old." I dunno.

Or should I try to find an actual JOB that would pay actual MONEY consistently? It would have to be something that I could work at around Max's hours, otherwise it isn't worth it. Nothing I'm good at pays well enough to justify paying for childcare.

I have seen one job that looks like it has potential. An Associate Editor for a digital mag. Technically I think I'm over-qualified for an Associate position, but it has been so long since I've had an actual job-job that, eh, that's probably most suitable anyway. And it is a mostly work at home thing. But I'll be honest, the idea of doing the 9 to 5 thing even at home is slightly terrifying to me. It's been since 2005. It's hard to imagine doing again. Ideally, I'd really like to get short term projects but the only ones I've seen don't seem worth it. Everyone wants to be a writer and so many people want to just break in that they'll work for basically nothing, leaving professionals begging. I don't know.

I thought writing all this out would help me think through it but I don't think I'm any closer to a decision. My gut feeling is that I don't want to get a "real" job. BUT my head says I probably ought to.

Writing books is not a way to make a living.

Well, off to read over my crap manuscript and see if it is salvageable at all.

Do I give up? Do I?

Do I dare disturb the universe?

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Your Lie in April

Just finished watching Your Lie in April on Crunchyroll. What a beautiful anime. A complete tear jerker. While there were some cliches in it (the love triangle one in particular, going 2 different ways), it was refreshingly lovely and unexpected.

I know there's a manga for it as well but, for once, I don't think I'll be trying to find it to read it. That's my normal first move after watching an anime that I like. But in this case, it's all about the music and the color. I don't think it would work as well lying there statically on the page. The animation is what really made it.

I mean, as a writer, the story -- including the "surprise" lie reveal at the end, is good but it isn't groundbreaking. I can't say that I was really surprised at the end or at any point during the development of the story. BUT it was all just really well done and deftly handled. Very nicely done.

I realise that I'm saying contradictory things here -- that it was unexpected but not groundbreaking. I think I'm looking at it as a gestalt. All of it together came together to make something really beautiful.

I suppose, as a comparison, today I also removed some things off of my queue on Crunchyroll. One was Listen to Me Girls, I'm Your Father which went in an entirely different direction. Decent idea for a story and a good main character...but totally ruined by over sexualization of young girls. It was uncomfortable to watch. I quit a few episodes in. Potential but ruined by pandering. No, not even pandering...I'm not even sure how to describe it. I'm obviously not the target audience, though and quite frankly, I wouldn't really want to know anyone who considers that to be their thing.

Life is short. Best to keep it full of beauty.