Blerg...er,

Um, I'm not here.

2011-11-09T12:04:00.000-05:00

Just noticed that I apparently never actually put up a post on this blog directing you to my (no longer) new online home: www.kimberlypauley.com

Er. My bad.

New year, new me...

2010-01-05T13:46:00.000-05:00

Well, we (as in, me and the hubster) have made the trite and oft-used resolution of losing weight. We both want to lose about 25 pounds. So far, I've lost 2. Just mostly modifying the diet so far....honestly, am not quite sure how to fit in exercise yet. We'll see.

So today...had plain yogurt with granola for breakfast. Lunch was a Lean Cuisine thing (and that's all I can say about that). Dinner will probably be something similar...Tony is out of town, so I'm going the easy route. The Max? He had chicken nuggets and tater tots for lunch.

The good news is that Tony is dieting too. It's really hard to diet in a household if you're the only one, especially when he does the majority of the cooking.

Hopefully we can lose it. It'll be like a whole new wardrobe again. :-) Though I guess that ditches my excuse to buy new clothes....hm.

I know, I know...

2009-12-08T22:59:00.000-05:00

I'm actually still really upset about Elephant. I'm silly, I know. But I am.

Max seems to be doing okay, at least. He carries around Elephant 2 plus either Binky Dog or Bunny Bear. He seems to want two things. But he's asked for Elly a few times. I just give him Elephant 2 and try to act like nothing's wrong.

Ah well.

Watch out, He Might Blow

2009-12-07T15:36:00.000-05:00

(Something less serious and depressing than the last post)

Watch out, he might blow

That little man in the corner over there...
I've been watching him.
The party swirls on around him,
conversations ebbing and flowing,
punctuated by the silver peals of laughter
of our hostess,
the inestimable, the esteemable, the powerful:
Maude.

And he,
the husband,
so quiet and unmoving.
The lines on his face settling deeper and deeper
into a roadmap of stillness.

His eyes, though,
so much more alive than the rest of us,
darting and fleeing around the room
to stop, to settle, to hang
so heavily on his wife
and then start the pendulum back,
touching always on
that dapper gentleman over there...
the one who hangs on our hostess
so gracefully, so tightly, so singly,
with every bon mot and every glance,
even from across the room.

There's an undercurrent of tension
here, among the frivolous joy --
And I cannot help but wonder
whether cocktail weiners can be
used as weapons of mass destruction.

Epic Fail

2009-12-06T23:10:00.000-05:00

I feel like I've had my first big Mommy failure. Max lost elephant at the mall today. Elephant #1. I've been careful lately to not let elephants out of the house, but Tony picked up Max to strap him in the car and he still had elephant. I thought about saying something, but I didn't. We've taken him out before (sometimes both of them) and it's always worked out, though we've had some close calls (left behind at a couple of stores, but I've always managed to find him). This time it didn't work out.

I had to get some new glasses because I lost my old ones somewhere in the house. Or maybe Max did; I don't know...they're just gone. And since Tony is off to London again this week, I really needed some new glasses so I could drive while he was gone. So while I was in VisionWorks at Hawthorne Mall, Tony was on Max duty. They played around the store for a while and then went on to the playground area. Me, I had my eye exam and looked for frames and got my eyes dilated.

On the way back to the car, I said "Where's Elephant?" assuming that he had wound up in Tony's pocket like he usually does. But Tony didn't have him. And he wasn't in the car. We got home and called iHop (where we'd had breakfast) and I called the mall where (prophetically) they told me that they didn't have Elly in the lost and found box but that they "threw away any dirty stuffed animals" that they found. Which, by the way, is evil. Because the loved ones? They're the dirty ones. If they are sparkling clean and new? Those aren't the loveys. The loveys are LOVED.

I also called the bookstore since Tony had gone in there and Delia's, since Tony had said that Max kept going in there because he liked to walk through their sign. But no go.

We had to go back to the mall to pick up my glasses, so we did that on the way to the airport. We drove through the parking lot slowly and checked out the aisle we had parked in and two more for good measure. No Elephant. The Max was asleep, so Tony stayed with him out in the car while I went in to pick up my glasses.

While I was waiting for my turn, I saw a security guard standing outside the store (and, according to the people on the phone earlier, mall security is in charge of the lost and found), so I asked the fellow if anyone had turned in an elephant. A guy who happened to be standing nearby taking surveys goes "A floppy grey elephant?" and for a minute I was very excited. It turns out Max must have left it on the post right outside the VisionWorks store while he and Tony had been playing around. The guy had propped it up on the post and left it there, but then later had seen a maintenance worker pick it up.

So I cornered a maintenance guy who was nearby, but he had no idea (and it wasn't him, anyway, but some other taller maintenance guy). The security guy was also no help. I had to get back to the car to get Tony to the airport, so I left. I was also, honestly, a wee bit of a wreck because a) I read The Velveteen Rabbit far too many times as a child and b) Max had already had one major meltdown at home when he figured out he had not two elephants, but one and the elephant he did have was not THE elephant. Backup elephant has always been backup elephant, even though he's loved carrying both around. Tony can't tell the difference, but Max and I can.

Tony doesn't get why I'm so upset, but he calls the mall again on the way to the airport but just asks if anyone has turned in the elephant (a question I already know the answer to) even though I tell him the new info. He just thinks Max will "live" and be fine. And, yes, I know that's true but that's not the point.

When we get back home I call again and explain to the concierge desk lady the situation. At first she tells me there are no maintenance people working today and then she's just confused. Ultimately, they say they'll look again and call me back. They do, about five minutes later, and no elephant. Which I expected by this point. They obviously threw him away.

It pains me to write that. Maybe I'm silly, I don't know. But Elephant has been there for Max for his whole life and has comforted him through bruises and bumps and nightmares and who knows what else. His trunk and hands were turned yellow from Max sucking on them when a binky just wouldn't do. He called him Elly, when the two elephants together where "Ants!" -- but Elephant was always Elly. I thought he'd have Elly his whole life and be able to sit him on a shelf someday and chuckle fondly at how raggedy he'd grown over the years. Maybe sneak him off to college because he just couldn't bear to leave him behind.

Elephant just wasn't something that should ever be thrown away.

I'm sorry, Max. I'm sorry, Elly. This time I failed.

Staring into space

2009-11-07T21:51:00.000-05:00

I'm in the writing stage where you spend a lot of time staring off into space. I think it's the stage that most confuses my husband. He's a do-er and this part of writing looks like a lot of nothing.

It's kind of like cooking, if your ingredients were all invisible and stewing in one giant pot. You stir and stir and stir...some things splash out and you clean them up; other things meld together and become yumminess. And after awhile, it's time to put it in the oven to bake and then you really get started.

Almost there, almost.

Though compared to these authors, my writing process seems downright calm and collected.

I'm trying to be fairly organized -- so I'm thinking, then outlining, then writing. I pretty much go from chapter one on down the road, periodically with brief detours into little snippets. But other than that, I'm pretty straightforward. No writing in the tub, though I do think of stuff in the shower.

Sometimes Happier

2009-11-07T00:46:00.000-05:00

I'm happier sometimes
and sometimes not...
be happier still
if I were better...
but I'm not.

Don't think I haven't tried;
it just isn't in me
to be better...
but happier, that I could probably do.

So There.

2009-11-06T16:36:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I'm all caught up now. I posted all the poems I had on Facebook and put them here. Some with dates, until I got lazy and just posted the poems instead. Ah, well.

I'll try to be more regular now. At posting, that is.

No Editing

2009-11-06T16:33:00.001-05:00

I used to be a poet...
wrapping my teenage self in poetry
larking about with words, o glorious, vain glorious words...

a long time now,
since a poem
has sprung forth
fully formed, half-assed, or otherwise
from me

perhaps my soul has become stilted
and steeped
in the mundane inanities of the life that lives in my head;
that endless stream of things to do, things to be said

checklists make terrible poems

Some Days

2009-11-06T16:32:00.003-05:00

Some days,
I'm just not there
not here, not there,
not anywhere

Living in my head
can be crazy wonderful &
desperately dull
and everything inbetween the lines

Some days,
I'm just stringing together
one piece of me at a time
endlessly reaching out for that future I can't see

Trying to be
that me
everyone else seems to think I am
and everything inbetween

Some days,
I should just shut up.

One a day

2009-11-06T16:32:00.001-05:00

One of these a day
will surely do some good...
Opening up the silly gates
and letting it all flood out

After all, I'm awash
in mismatched metaphors
and synonyms I don't need...
Not to mention all those adverbs just lying around

Mommy Day

2009-11-06T16:30:00.003-05:00

I'm going to have a good day today
damn the torpedoes
and all of that

Perhaps--
nothing will get done,
no decisions will be made

But--
there will be hugs
and kisses and that irrepressible pitter patter of Happy Max Feet

Oh Sleepyhead

2009-11-06T16:30:00.001-05:00

Before I was a mommy,
there was this thing called sleep
I knew it -- and loved it, really,
(don't tell the husband)
but I took it for granted;
stopped bringing it flowers,
didn't look up from what I was reading
when it came calling.
And now, look at me now,
the baby has stolen it away
and I'm begging at the window
for just one more taste
from that sweet slumbering wellspring.
One only misses a love affair
once it is over.

I don't like to rhyme

2009-11-06T16:29:00.000-05:00

I'm not a rhyming poet;
heck, I'm not much of a poet at all.
but I hate to rhyme...
it makes me feel silly
and inadequate
and stuck...what if I want to talk about oranges?
Or pickles?
I'd be trapped making references to Don Rickles
(not that there's anything wrong with him;
he's funny in his own way...
but a poem about him? No, no...I'd say 'no way'
but then I'd be rhyming again
and let's not go there...)
There are poets out there
that can make beautiful rhymes...
twisting their stanzas into
intricate little works of art.
But I am a clumsy poet--
and lazy, true--
So I am quite happy to leave
all the rhyming to you.

Some Days

2009-11-06T16:21:00.001-05:00

Some days,
I wish I drank coffee.

Today, I wish
I had a double espresso
with an extra shot of caffeine.

Unnecessary baggage (I've reached the weight limit)

2009-11-06T16:20:00.001-05:00

there's a lot of chaos
inherent in every life.
lately...
I feel surrounded in
a maelstrom of
...stuff and things

too much

I want to purge
and diverge and
shed my normal skin
get rid of baggage...
the weight of which
holds me earthbound
and gagged

I need to lose myself...
lose myself to find myself
such a cliche
but so true

I want to breathe free

The opposite of deep isn't necessarily shallow

2009-11-06T16:19:00.002-05:00

I wish I had something
deep
to say
but I'm really not that complex

There's nothing on my mind
(save the usual, as per usual)
not today

I suppose that means
I'll leave saving the world
to you

Just for today

You Cheat

2009-11-06T16:18:00.002-05:00

I felt like cheating today
(after all, who would know?)
and pulling out an old, unpublished, unpolished
bit of poetry. Some bit of skulduggery, that.

Instead, here I am,
late in the day
but intention intact:
another little ditty on display.

Don't you feel better now?
Ah, me too.

Originally posted May 16, 2009

The Title is Untitled

2009-11-06T16:15:00.001-05:00

Every day, the same thing--
that blank screen staring back at me...
that cursor, so insistent,
sitting there
blink, blink, blink...
demanding words and sentences and paragraphs and chapters

I sling nouns and verbs
adverbs and prepositions
(too many, perhaps)

and still the damn thing sits there blinking at me

Take that,
you silly thing,
I'm nearly done.

originally posted May 17, 2009

On the Spit

2009-11-06T15:50:00.001-05:00

"Eh" might best describe
how I'm feeling today.
It could, perhaps, be worse
but I haven't the energy
to work myself into a tizzy
or even a slow fizzle.

(And here's the day,
half gone already.
Wither do they go?
Heck if I know.)

Sometimes, the life of a hermit
sounds so appealing and quiet...
and restful

But then I think of doing without
(toilet paper, mostly, let's be honest--
how would I live without the Charmin?)
and I stick where I am.
Today is a just a slow burn.

Originally posted May 18, 2009

Playlist

2009-11-06T15:48:00.002-05:00

During the day,
with Tony gone,
the house used to be quiet and still

Sometimes there was music
or the insistent meow meow
of a fat cat overly concerned
about the state of her food dish

But, as a general rule,
there was silence

Now
there's always a quick
pitter-patt
mysterious bang, bang, bangs
terrifying whumps
and incoherent but sweet
babble boo bub blu blah boo bee

the soundtrack of my life
has changed

(originally posted May 19, 2009)

Poor Tippi

2009-11-06T15:39:00.000-05:00

O how I hate the little birdies
with their chirpful morning ablutions
(that seem to start earlier each day)
Such a joyful annoying cacophony they make
...right outside my window

(originally posted May 20, 2009)

Blustery Day

2009-11-06T15:38:00.002-05:00

There's a breeze blowing
in from somewhere
could be anywhere
could be here
maybe there's change
carried along
in the arms of this windy fellow
Perhaps the name is Mariah to some,
but to me,
he's always been an adventurous sort
never one to stay in one place for long
and always willing to ruffle some feathers

Originally posted May 21, 2009

Full Tired

2009-11-06T15:36:00.002-05:00

It's late now
after a day full of
everything---
and I,
me,
I'm tired.
Really,
nothing more
to say
than that.

(originally posted May 22, 2009)

Why Anyway

2009-11-06T15:35:00.002-05:00

I'm glad I'm not a writer
on one of those television shows
where someone always dies
in a horrible fashion
and the characters scramble around
solving murders and cracking jokes
around the blood and guts
like there's something
inherently funny
about intestines
out and about
where no intestines should be

(originally posted May 23, 2009)

The Drive In

2009-11-06T15:34:00.002-05:00

We went to a Drive In last night
(neither of us having been
in more years than we care to admit)
It was a doubleheader
and double the fun
--so much more exciting than a
movie in a theater
People talking, football throwing,
the smell of popcorn in the air.
Interactive rather than singular--
more a coming together than a going out.
And little Max, so excited
to be out and about;
he fell asleep
fifteen minutes into Star Trek
once the explosions died down

(originally posted May 25, 2009)

Playtime

2009-11-06T15:33:00.002-05:00

Having a kid
is a little like
having a second childhood

(when did they come up
with all of these
really cool toys??)

or maybe it's
more like watching
a replay, but through the distance of time

(and why are empty Coke bottles
and boxes and corks and junk
still his favorite toys??)

every day is a new discovery
a new moment of "Ah ha!"
every day a triumph

(what will we learn
about tomorrow??)

(originally posted May 26, 2009)

Cabbages and Kings

2009-11-06T15:32:00.002-05:00

Hardly logical
and full of nonsense
...that would be me.
I talk to myself
(and my characters;
they're lovely conversationalists)
more than I talk to anyone else...
except, perhaps, for the cat and Max--
the one merely meows or gives a baleful glare
(she is, after all, a cat),
and the other is happy to answer
with a five-toothed smile.
There are ships and sealing wax
in our future;
I can feel it.

Originally posted May 27, 2009.

Never Enough

2009-11-06T15:24:00.002-05:00

I have this problem
with time.
It's always running out on me,
like it has a pressing appointment
elsewhere
with someone
far more important than
little old me.
Someone, apparently,
who can give it
better gifts and prettier clothes,
perhaps a baker's dozen roses
for good measure.
Leaving me
always trying to hold on
to those fast disappearing
coattails of time,
promising it more and more
that I can't give.

(originally posted May 28, 2009)

Do I have the time?

2009-11-06T15:22:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time,
I might have waxed philosophic
or quibbled over the various merits
of Kant, Proust, or Nietzsche
(Men are Evil, but Women are Mean,
so he said and few have argued)
adopting, I'm sure, a supercilious air
(it would be hard not to, would it not?
-- such rarefied topics as these)
But now,
I merely wonder
whether or not
I should take a nap.

(originally posted May 29, 2009)

Pound of Flesh

2009-11-06T15:20:00.002-05:00

I should never make promises
--really, I shouldn't--
especially those where I say
"okay, I'll write a poem
every single day"
Or those haphazard bargains with myself:
"If I get in 1,000 words today
I can have that piece of cake"
because, inevitably,
the promise becomes a noose
and the bargain...
oh those bargains...
they're always a deal with the devil
and the devil is in the details--
we all know that.

(originally posted May 31, 2009)

Cats and Dogs

2009-11-06T15:00:00.002-05:00

Distant thunder rumbles rattles the window panes
punctuating the stillness before the rain
begins drumming the walls
a staccato concert
livening up a day gone gray
like the back beat to a song
you can't get out of your head

(originally posted June 1, 2009)

Blech-y Day

2009-11-06T14:59:00.002-05:00

Sometimes it feels like my life
has been reduced
to meal times and nap times
and cleaning up inbetween
trying to catch up
but never quite getting there;
frustration my dearest friend
(the kind you'd like to keep at arm's distance,
but who nevertheless clings to you at parties
and drones on and on about that last
wonderful vacation they took)
and monotony
some strange bedfellow you wake up to
morning after morning,
wondering how you first met.

(Originally posted June 2, 2009)

Up Next...

2009-11-06T14:58:00.002-05:00

the last chapter
is a bittersweet one
so good to be done,
like bringing something to life
but it also means
our time is over
and the story is done
(except, of course,
for the revisions,
revisions,
revisions)

(originally posted June 3, 2009...when finishing up Still Sucks to Be Me)

Here it is

2009-11-06T14:57:00.002-05:00

Here it is
the end of the day
and me,
all poem-less--
like a song
without rhythm,
a rhyme
without reason,
a picture
with no one to see it.

And there you go.

(originally posted June 4th, 2009)

There are notes and there are notes

2009-11-06T11:35:00.002-05:00

(originally posted on July 16, 2009, over on Facebook)

I'm always getting
some song
rambling around drunk in my head
like that last party guest
you just can't get to leave

and, oh, it's always the one
with the bad taste
and the terrible stories
about that wonderful trip they took
to Boston that one year
when the weather went so crazy
and the swans all froze

you know that song
that's the one
the one yah, yah, yah
that stays with you all day
and just won't leave

and there I am again
humming along
no doubt annoying
anyone else who comes along

My Best Poems

2009-11-06T11:34:00.002-05:00

(originally posted on Oct 15, 2009, over on Facebook)

I haven't written a poem down in months

(though before that,
years -- let's be honest;
I am a poet of little stamina
and only the barest of intentions)

even though rare bits of
mismatched stanzas and
utter silliness
drift through my mind
at the strangest times
but always,
always
without a pen to be found.

Had a nice one in my head
all last night --
Oh, it was a beauty
how those words fit together,
waking me up
with their brilliant finery
but not enough to
actually get up out of bed,
out of the warmth
and the snuggle of the boy
...not to mention the electric blanket.
And then morning came.
Not a stitch of it was left.

My best poems,
I suppose,
are only for me.

NaNoWriMoMe

2009-11-06T11:33:00.002-05:00

(originally posted on 11/4 over on Facebook)

There's this thing every November
called National Novel Writing Month
or NaNoWriMo for short
(or for those who like to say
Na-na-na-na-boo-boo)

But here's the problem--
I am, by nature,
a most curious beast--
and both willful and backhanded

As soon as I'm told what to do
and when to do it...
I don't.

I'm sure there's a reason.
Some psychological
bibbidy-bobbidy-boo--
You can certainly analyze me if you wish
(though I wouldn't wish it upon you).

It's not that I can't hit a deadline
or sling words around like mud
and see what sticks
...and what stinks

But I'd rather have a story
than 50,000 words.

Itchy Fingers

2009-11-05T22:32:00.000-05:00

I have itchy fingers tonight.
I need to write a poem...
but this won't be it.

I need to say those things
that can't be said
or unsaid

So I will whisper them
tonight
into my pillow

and pray it has patience with me.

(Okay, so where have I been? All over. Mostly at my main author-ly website and somewhat on our family blog and also wasting gobs of time I can't afford to waste on Twitter and Facebook. So why am I here now? Because I've been posting poems randomly on Facebook and it occurred to me that I do have a better place to put them. This was always my personal blog full of randomness and disconnectedness. Which rather perfectly describes my poetry. Above was tonight's poem--I call these little poem-lets brain dump poetry because they are a) unedited, b) written within the space of 5 minutes or less and c) intended not for publication or show, but just to...well, be. I'll probably post the others that I've been posting on Facebook [also for peace of mind, since you never know what they're gonna do] too, over time. I suppose I could just file them away on my computer in a folder labeled poetry, but they seem so lonely that way. And besides, it's been so long since I posted here that I don't think anyone actually ever reads it anymore. And that's fine. If you -- whoever you are -- do happen upon these random musings, please as Puck says, do forgive.)

Updates....

2008-01-09T17:21:00.000-05:00

Are all over on the "family" blog: The Pauleys Go to Chicago. At this point, I'm likely to retire this one as I can barely keep one blog updated. And things are bound to get worse once the baby is here.

Not to mention I really need to get my author site up and that'll probably have some kind of a mini-blog of its own.

And a general malaise struck him by surprise

2007-11-19T21:42:00.000-05:00

This has been a strange couple of weeks. Some good things, but some very bad things too. My Auntie Dot died. She had been fighting cancer for over a year, so it wasn't unexpected, but it was still a blow. She was really a driving force in the family and it is hard to imagine the family without her. And then this Saturday, Tony's Aunt Teresa died unexpectedly. She was only 47 and one of the sweetest, nicest people you could ever meet.

Tony drove over for the funeral (it's tomorrow), but I couldn't go since Mom & Watson & Pam are arriving by plane tomorrow for Thanksgiving (and, for the record, no, mom, I don't need Watson to drive). Just such a crazy time. And meanwhile, the baby has been kicking away, doing the rumba or swimming laps or something like that. Little reminders of life and wonder amid the sadness of death.

And I'm still all stuffed up, though my cold or whatever it is hasn't gotten any worse. It just hasn't gotten any better. I imagine it would be rather comforting right now to be a bear and go into hibernation for a little while.

But first I need to finish washing the sheets and towels and cleaning out the refrigerator before everyone gets here.

Sunday Chilly Sunday

2007-11-11T17:31:00.001-05:00

Well, I'm definitely coming down with something, since I'm a regular snot monster again. I guess I'll call the doctor tomorrow, since I don't want to follow the normal progression down to bronchitis or anything like that.

Yesterday was Jill's birthday party / road rally (i.e. scavenger hunt). It was a lot of fun, even though I wasn't a huge amount of help. Tony's team actually won bragging rights. Mine came in the middle of the pack, which was better than coming in dead last. :-)

Tony's birthday is coming up this week. We're going to try and get together a Big Night celebration for next Saturday. We haven't made a timpano in a while.

Sunny Fall

2007-11-09T11:29:00.001-05:00

It's actually been quite sunny here, though the temperature has dropped into the 50's...and sometimes 40's during the day. Yesterday was a bit gray, but today we're once again sunny but chilly. I actually like weather like this a lot. It's the stuff that comes later that I'm not completely sure about.

I think I'm coming down with a cold, so I'm trying to stave it off with tea and vitamin C and things like that. Especially since I'm not really supposed to take OTC stuff. Mostly it's just a tickly throat and a bad headache (which I've had anyway, some kind of pregnancy thing). The headache part is actually worse than the rest.

I'm thinking about firing up the fireplace in the front living room. We haven't used that one yet. It's wood-burning, but with a gas hookup too. Maybe I'll camp out in there all day. Cool weather is a great excuse for a fire. And it will make Harley really happy. He's a little kitty pyro.

Oh, and on the plus side (heh, literally) I might have actually gained a pound! Whoo-hoo!

Yeesh, who knew I'd ever cheer about that.

Eh, whatever

2007-11-08T15:18:00.000-05:00

I'm having one of those tired, wintry grey and unmotivated days. I've gotten a few things done, but not as much as I'd like (ok, actually, like I ever get done everything I want to). I just really want to sleep or veg or totally crash out.

Pretty quiet day today.

Though Gracie did half fall into the toilet today.

And tried to play it off like she "meant to do that." Unsuccessfully.

I have some writing stuff I really need to get to, if I can just wake myself up enough to do it. And tons more books to mail out. I need to find a little cart that will fit in my car because I'm getting to the point I can't carry too much heavy stuff at once. Belly gets in the way.

And scale is still staying on the same bloody spot. Grrrr. Still haven't gained an ounce since my last Dr. appointment.

Where's the beef??

2007-11-07T18:39:00.000-05:00

I can't seem to *&@!#@!# gain any weight! And trust me, I have never, ever had this problem before in my entire life. When I was super-skinny (a way long time ago in the distant past) it was because I wasn't eating much. Pretty much since I met Tony, it's been a slow climb uphill. And now, now that I actually need to gain some weight, I can't seem to. It's kind of frustrating.

I feel like I am eating enough. Or rather, I feel like I can't really eat any more than I'm eating.

Oh, but the belly. The belly keeps getting bigger and bigger. I realized yesterday I couldn't zip up the jacket I was wearing. And my belly button, which was never super deep, is now getting pretty flat. It hasn't popped up yet like a meat thermometer/timer, but I can see it coming.

Oh well. I'm off to go eat some more.

Letters & Packages to "Any Solider"

2007-11-07T11:52:00.000-05:00

I got a forwarded email today from my MIL about sending out Christmas Cards to "Any Wounded Solider" at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and thought it sounded like a great idea. But being the suspicous Internet user that I am, I looked it up and I found out that such packages can no longer be delivered and, apparently, have been tossed out since 2001 (!!). There's a press release about it at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center site. I'm going to reproduce part of it here in the hopes that this will do something to combat the hundreds of wrong messages out there (when I put my search in google, a ton of hits came up; all of them saying what a good idea it was to do this...which it obviously isn't, not anymore). So feel free to pass this on (which is something I would normally not ever ask someone to do).

Walter Reed Army Medical Center officials want to remind those individuals who want to show their appreciation through mail to include packages, letters, and holiday cards addressed to 'Any Wounded Soldier' or 'A Recovering American Soldier' that Walter Reed cannot accept these packages in support of the decision by then Deputy Undersecretary of Defense for Transportation Policy in 2001. This decision was made to ensure the safety and well being of patients and staff at medical centers throughout the Department of Defense.

In addition, the U.S. Postal Service is no longer accepting "Any Service Member" or "A Recovering American Soldier" letters or packages. Mail to "Any Service Member" that is deposited into a collection box will not be delivered.

Instead of sending an “Any Wounded Soldier” letter or package to Walter Reed, please consider making a donation to one of the more than 300 nonprofit organizations dedicated to helping our troops and their families listed on the "America Supports You" website, http://www.americasupportsyou.mil/

Other organizations that offer means of showing your support for our troops or assist wounded servicemembers and their families include:
http://www.usocares.org/
http://www4.army.mil/ocpa/tooursoldiers/
http://www.redcross.org/

As an add on to this, I just found this site: AnySolider.com which allows you to send a package intended for "Any Solider" but to a specific contact, so that the package will be distributed.

20 Week Baby Photos

2007-11-02T18:01:00.001-04:00

Well, it's a boy, as we found out on Monday. I figured it had to be, since I have no idea what to do with a boy. After all, the kid is bound to be as stubborn and persnickety as his dad. I just hope he's taller than me. :-)

Here's one of the funky 3D scans. The baby's still a little skeletal looking at this stage, but hey, he's only 12 ounces right now and about 9 inches long. He's got his arm up by his head, if you can't tell.

Here's the proof of boyhood, with a handy arrow as placed by the ultrasound technician. I guess it's a "butt up" kind of view.
Here's a pretty good scan of as much baby as will fit in one image frame now. The tech counted up fingers and toes and measured everything and everything looks good. All the stuff that's supposed to be there is there and everything is about the size it's supposed to be.
Here's a little bitty foot.
And a little bitty fist. It didn't look like he was shaking it. We did see him yawn on screen though and he might have been sucking his thumb at one point. He's a definite wiggler. I think the nickname might have to go from "peanut" to "squirmy."

Weightiness

2007-10-29T18:01:00.000-04:00

Well, for the first time ever in my life, I've had a doctor tell me I need to gain weight. ;-) Seems I'm gaining a bit slow. We're officially at 20 weeks right now and I've just gained a total of 4 pounds so far. We're half way. I can hardly believe it.

We had the 20 week ultrasound today. Got some good pictures. We've got a real wiggler. The ultrasound tech was surprised I haven't been able to feel the baby yet, considering how much movement was going on. But it's about the time when I should start feeling it soon.

Well. Off to eat something. Gotta keep up my end of the deal.

Soap, soap, soap

2007-10-18T13:22:00.000-04:00

I made soap yesterday with Erin, one of our neighbors. She's also at home during the day and she was interested in learning how. We had a lot of fun. It's more fun to do projects with someone than alone. She'll be back today this afternoon when it is time to cut the soap.

She's a nice lady and just unloaded a bunch of maternity clothes on me, which was nice. I don't think I'll have to buy much now. She's close to my height (a bit taller) and has two young boys. Real cuties.

We made two batches of soap. One has shea butter and rose hip oil (and cinnamon fragrance and red kaolin clay) as the non-standard ingredients (by non-standard, I mean not one of the base oils I use: castor, palm, olive, coconut, etc.) and the other was Illipe butter and tea tree oil. Hopefully they all come out alright.

I should make up another batch or two to use up some more of the oils I have. They don't last indefinitely. In a "it's a small world" note, Erin's husband is a chemist and he works for the same company that I'd bought most of the oils from. Bizarre.

Memories

2007-10-18T01:07:00.000-04:00

Having some trouble sleeping lately. Partly it is the can't-get-comfortable thing and partly it's the terrible-pregnancy-heartburn thing. What is up with that? And then when I do get to sleep I either wake up because a) I have to pee again or b) I was having a really funky weird dream (and I'm not even mentioning when Harley, Grace and Tony start snoring in unison).

The dreams are really weird. And very random. Last night I had like 3 dreams about a guy I used to go to middle school with. We were friends, but not close friends (I was really more friends with his sister Colleen) and it wasn't like I ever had a crush on him or anything. So it's really weird to have dreams about someone I haven't thought about in years. The brain is very random.

So I attempted to look the guy up this morning, just to see what he was up to. I don't know that I actually want to contact him (after all, we haven't talked in literally at least 20 years), but it doesn't seem like I have to worry about it either way since he's got one of those names (William Wickham) that makes it impossible to find the person you want. Seems there was a famous William Wickham back in England, some years ago. And there's no way I'm combing through 2 million web pages to find the William I'm looking for.

But, in wandering around looking, I came across http://www.gradfinder.com/ which is a free service similar to classmates.com and reunion.com. So I registered and found another blast from the past -- a guy I went to Prom with in the 10th grade (or maybe 9th?) (Derek Gage). We weren't dating, but most of my friends were seniors and I wanted to go (and, presumably, they wanted me to go too) and celebrate with them. I hung out with a bunch of the artsy people (like Laura DePuy, who I ran into again in St. Pete years later -- actually went to her wedding...she's now Laura Martin and even has her own WikiPedia page...she's a colorist for graphic novels...man, I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people, I don't think I've talked to her since then). Derek was one of them and he volunteered to take me along. Actually, I don't know that he volunteered - maybe he was volunteered. Hard to say at this point.

Now I'm trying to remember the names of the other people we all hung out with. There was Mike, who worked at Pizza Hut (and absolutely refused to eat the pizza) and who always wore an old army jacket. Geez, what was his last name? Maybe I'll have to drag out my yearbook.

I moved to Mississippi not long after that (after dad died and the icky bad period started up) and lost track of a lot of people.

You know a funny thing? I actually went to 6 different Proms in high school. That makes me sound like some really popular girl, but that really wasn't the case. Though, looking back, I probably could have been (if it hadn't been for my terrible self-image, etc. etc.). Geez, was I skinny and I always thought I was so fat. I think I might have been borderline anorexic back then. I was a size 0. Of course, I was also 4' 11". Not that I'm any taller now and I'm w-a-y out of a size 0.

Hmmmm. I looked up another old Prom date of mine, who also happened to be an artist. Kris Meadows. Looks like he's doing pretty well too (though he didn't quite look like that in high school but heck, I sure don't look like I did in high school either). We actually met when I sat as a model for an art class at CFCC in Ocala (my mom did too; I have no idea how we got into that...I think she had a friend in the class and they thought it would be cool to have some "Asian" chicks in to model). Not nude or anything. :-) I actually still have the portrait Kris did of me. And now he's a fairly well-known portrait artist. Go figure.

I don't actually remember much of that Prom, but I do remember what happened on the way there -- we passed a dead body in the middle of the road. You don't forget something like that, especially in the days before cell phones.

Gah, who did I even go to the other Proms with? One was with Stephen DuBose (he was a nice guy -- that was in Mississippi...wait, maybe that was two with him...his and mine?). There was that Shane guy...what was his last name? Though his friend Viktor, the Swedish exchange student, was much nicer. And maybe one was just by myself, junior year. Or maybe I went with someone. I don't remember. I just remember the horrible pink dress with the crazy shoulder wing-things. The 80's. *sigh*

Anyway, now that my brain has spewed and the heartburn has died down a little, maybe I can actually get to sleep now.

Scattergories

2007-10-09T18:35:00.000-04:00

(Got this from Janet)

SCATTERGORIES...it's harder than it looks!
Erase my answers , enter yours, send it on, including to the person who sent it to you.
*Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...
*They have to be real places, names, things..nothing made up!
Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial.
You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question

WHAT IS YOUR NAME........Kimberly
VEHICLE: ........................... Kia (I can't think of any others that start with K)
TV SHOW: ............................ King of the Hill
CITY IN TEXAS:.................... Kerrville (had to cheat and look one up...why Texas?)
BOY NAME: .......................... Kane
GIRL NAME: ......................... Kristen
OCCUPATION: ...................... Knight (well, it used to be)
CELEBRITY: ......................... Keira Knightley
FOOD: ................................. Kefir
SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: ..... Kleenex
REASON FOR BEING LATE: ...................... Kleptomania
CARTOON CHARACTER:........... Kim Possible (isn't that a cartoon?)
SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: ....................... Keep it on the road!

Nothing, really

2007-10-05T08:31:00.000-04:00

When people hear that you've sold a book (and by people here I'm referring to non-writers, since I can't imagine a writer would say this) and that it is a book for kids/teens, the first thing they seem to say nowadays is "Wow, is it going to be the next Harry Potter??" or something to that effect.

Honestly, that's really annoying.

It's not that I wouldn't like for my book(s) to make me a multi-millionaire. But the chances of that are so slim it would be like winning the lottery. Maybe not quite that bad, since there are other things involved than luck, but still.

There are hundreds of talented authors out there and the vast majority of them are still working at another job while writing. Even for those lucky enough to "just" be an author, most still rely at least partly on the income of a spouse. You don't become a writer because you want to be a millionaire. You become a writer because you can't imagine doing anything else.

Of course, there are the big huge names like Rowling and King and others. But they are exceptions to the rule, not the standard. And it is a bit of a self-perpetrating thing...once you reach that upper echelon (through whatever combination of luck and talent), publishers put more effort into advertising you, and your books show up on the NY Times Bestseller list and people buy the books because they see them there, or maybe Oprah pitched the book on her show...

I guess what I'm saying is that my goal is to be a writer; it isn't to be a household-name-mega-millionaire. Not that I would turn that down, should it become an option. :-) But it isn't what I'm thinking or dreaming about. I'll be really happy if enough of my book(s) sell that I can continue writing them. I'll be really happy if there are people out there who like to read them.

Vote for my fat cat Grace

2007-10-03T10:44:00.000-04:00

I'm not even sure why I did, but I entered my cat fat cat Grace in the Cat Connection Cat of the Month contest. So, hey, go vote for her :)

Tired and random

2007-10-02T16:57:00.001-04:00

I suppose part of it is the pregnancy thing and part of it is I just stayed up way too late last night, but I'm just desperately tired. Like a wrung-out washcloth. Like a celebutante at 7 AM the next day. Like...well, like Paris Hilton. But I guess that's a different kind of tired.

Actually, I shouldn't harp on poor Paris. I don't know anything about her, really. Who knows, maybe she's a really nice person.

Heh.

Anyway.

Pam is all excited about her upcoming nupital celebration (why does no one use that word?). She's already planned out most of it, even though she's got a long way to go. But she's a planner.

Lisa still thinks I'm the weird one in the family (and truth be told, given the alternative, I'm perfectly okay with that). She was asking me about whether we'd started looking at baby stuff already (not really, just a little) and her direct quote was "You're going to get all weird stuff, aren't you?" I'm not even sure what kind of weird stuff she's talking about. But my idea of weird and her idea of weird are vastly different. I remember she visited one time and wouldn't drink my organic milk.

Mom, on the other hand, doesn't usually comment on my supposed "weirdness" but she didn't sound all that enthused on our possible girl name (Dessie, Tony's grandmother's name). She's like "Oh. That's different." But I'd rather have something a little different (but not totally out there; don't want to traumatize the kid) than one of the "top 10 baby names for 2008." I remember being in the fifth grade and being one of 5 Kimberlys. And I can't tell you how many Emily and Ryan kiddos I've seen running around.

I'd kind of like the middle name to be Coraline, but I'm not sure about that. I like it, but probably like in the book, everyone would just mispronounce it as Caroline.

Tony is doing good. He's cranking along on his blog and going all international (well, at least Greek. Some Greek blogger liked his chicken cacciatore recipe).

Harley is still doing his Darth Vader cat thing, but we can't get him to take allergy pills. He foams at the mouth when you try it. If I could get him a little Darth kitty costume for Halloween (and actually get him to wear it), it'd be perfect.

So, here's the little peanut

2007-09-30T18:46:00.000-04:00

This was at 9 weeks. I'm at 16 weeks now (at least, according to the scale that doctor's use, which I think is about 2 weeks off).

Isn't this cool?

2007-09-29T08:21:00.000-04:00

My editor sent me a link to this blog, where La Gringa picked my book as her "best title of the week." Cool, eh?

And bonus...I'll have to go through her blog now 'cause she listens to some great music.

Update, update, where's yer update

2007-09-28T18:27:00.000-04:00

The big reason I hadn't written in this blog for a while (notwithstanding any exhortations from my sister) is that we'd decided not to tell anyone about the whole pregnancy / baby thing until we'd hit the 3 month mark and gotten all the test results back. And it felt really weird to NOT write about something so big in our lives...like a 10,000 pound white elephant in the room (though, yegods, if the baby is anywhere near elephant size I'm going to be screaming bloody murder).

But we've officially come out of the pregnancy closet, so hopefully I can get myself back in the habit again.

So...let's see.

First off, the whole book thing is great. My editor, Nina, is great. The revisions were pretty painless. There wasn't anything she brought up that I didn't agree with and I think the book is better now than it was. I think they are treating me fairly and I haven't had any issues with the process at all.

Yay!

And, I got a ping from a production company interested in possibly picking up the tv/film rights. I'm not getting all worked up about that, since I've heard so many horror stories from different people, but it would be cool. I actually think Sucks to Be Me would make a great TV show. I think you'd want to go a little more over the top than I did in the book, but it could easily be adapted and it'd be funny show. Turn the whole vampire-genre on tv thing upside down.

So we'll see what happens with all of that.

And on the baby front...all the tests were all good, no matter that they keep telling me I'm of "advanced maternal age" (poo on them) since I'll be 35 by the time the baby gets here. I really haven't gained any weight yet, but I have got a small little tummy going. Which means I'm mostly already out of my pants (sadly, I was already kinda in my fat pants). At this point, I'd actually rather be wearing the maternity stuff. That way, it at least looks like you're pregnant vs. looking like you had way too much for lunch.

Tony was there for the first ultrasound. It's kinda funny. The baby's like this little kewpie doll, waving it's little arms and legs around. Little peanut. They also have this 3D ultrasound thingy that's almost kind of freaky. I'll have to scan it in and post it sometime.

As for the family, everyone seems to be excited. Actually, I think some of them are more excited than we are. Tony and I just aren't, you know, screamers. We're pretty calm people. We don't squeal. I have a really hard time cheering at sporting events (okay, there's a lot of reasons there, probably, but still). I thought Lisa was practically going to keel over.

Of course, right after that, she proceeded to tell me a horror story about when she was pregnant and didn't make it to the bathroom on time once. Thanks, sis.

Book Meme

2007-09-28T17:30:00.000-04:00

I was tagged by Cheryl for a book meme. I hadn't done one in a while (heck, I haven't updated my blog in a while), so I thought I'd do it. And hey, I finished off the final revisions on my book, so I had no excuses anyway.

1. Hardcover or paperback, and why?
Hardcover if I plan on keeping it. But then, I really love old paperbacks too. I have a whole collection of old sci-fi paperbacks and they're fun in a way that a HB can't quite be. So...I guess my real answer is "I don't care; I just like books."

2. If I were to own a book shop I would call it…
You'd think I'd have a good title all prepared. Huh. Maybe "Down the Rabbit Hole"? Kind of a double meaning there -- there's the Alice in Wonderland reference and the whole thought of losing yourself in something new and fantastic. Of course, I guess you could also get a drug reference out of it too, but let's not go there. Follow the White Rabbit and all that.

3. My favorite quote from a book (mention the title) is…
“Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor.”–Lazarus Long (Robert. A. Heinlein)

I think that's from The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

And there's this, from Henry Rollins, of all people:
"If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I will write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always. I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you."

I'm not sure where that's from though. Has he written a book? Probably...maybe. I dunno.

4. The author (alive or diseased) I would love to have lunch with would be ….
Robert A. Heinlein
Harry Harrison (had dinner with him once; would love to see him again - he's awesome)
Douglas Adams
P. L. Travers

5. If I was going to a deserted island and could only bring one book, except from the SAS survival guide, it would be…
Could I cheat and say a set of Encyclopedias? That's kind of like one big book, right?

6. I would love someone to invent a bookish gadget that….
...was like a hand-held scanner and you could just point it at a bunch of books on the shelf and it would catalog them all to your computer.

7. The smell of an old book reminds me of….
happiness

8. If I could be the lead character in a book (mention the title), it would be….
I think I've read too many books to answer this. Maybe Coraline, if I had to pick one. She's brave and plucky and she's got her whole life ahead of her. It would really depend. And besides, for a book to be good, there's got to be conflict. Take poor Harry, for instance. Would you really want to go through everything he did? Of course, I wouldn't really want to go through what Coraline did either...

9. The most overestimated book of all times is….
Ulysses. I'm sorry, but it's really almost impossible to read. I understand that what Joyce did was amazing and there's even other stuff of his I like okay, but Ulysses...just...ugh.

10. I hate it when a book….
Has a lot of typos. A minor thing, I suppose, but it always takes me out of the story. There are other things, but typos are consistently annoying.

So, I suppose I should tag someone back. I'll say Pam and Jeffy. Not that I think Jeffy has a blog, but I'd be curious to hear his answers (and he might actually read this).

well, then...

2007-08-10T17:49:00.000-04:00

I think I can say something now, since I've officially signed the contract....I sold my first book (the vampire one) to Mirrorstone and it'll be coming out in Fall 2008.

Happy dance, happy dance, happy dance! :-)

More details as they come :-)

In other news, I actually did make a start on a new book...

Whuppity Stourie

2007-07-30T19:20:00.000-04:00

Good good good news on the writing front, but I'd rather not say a whole lot until stuff is final. Actually, all kind of news all the way around. And family stuff - saw cousin Doug this past weekend with his partner Theo (pronounced Teo, kinda like Tea Leoni, but with an "o"). Pam and Mom and Watston are coming for Thanksgiving. And Pam and Mike are coming for her birthday in October. That's all that I'll say for now.

Down to....

2007-07-13T15:25:00.000-04:00

I'm finally down to 214 items in my inbox. Whew. But there's no way I'm getting to the post office today, so I guess the next Prize Book mailing will have to be Monday or Tuesday. At least I got some books out to reviewers this week.

Walked around the lake with Jill today too...boy, I need to exercise more.

Harry Potter Tag

2007-07-12T14:03:00.000-04:00

Alyssa tagged me and I'm finally getting around to it (I still haven't gotten through all my emails...ack! It isn't so much the 1000 or so that piled up while I was gone, it's all the 100+ new ones I get every day on top of that!):

1. Butterbeer or pumpkin juice?

Hmmmm, I think Butterbeer. It sounds intriguing to me.

2. What House would you most likely (or want to) be in in Hogwarts?

Probably Ravenclaw, I think.

3. If you were an animagus, what animal would you turn into?

I'd have to say a cat...I'd probably be like my cat Grace...fat and sleepy.

4. What character do you empathize with, or resemble best?

Hermione.

5. What position do you play at Quidditch?

Er...spectator. I suck at sports.

6. Which teacher is your favorite?

Professor McGonagal. Or whathisname Mad Eye or something like that.

7. Any Harry Potter 7 predictions?

No...other than that I don't think Harry dies.

Daddy Dance Off

2007-06-14T11:29:00.000-04:00

You can vote in the Daddy Dance Off until noon today. This gave me quite a giggle this morning. My favorites were Denver (this is who I voted for), Tampa (my old home town!), and then Houston (he had style).

I can't imagine what the competitions were like. Most of the dads that I know do the "white man dance" ... though Tony's dad can really dance. Nobody did any old school dancing though.

Sleepless

2007-06-12T02:56:00.000-04:00

Can't get my brain to shut up tonight...not that it wants to think about anything big or grand or important. Just trivial nonsense things. Garden plots. Ebay auctions. Cleaning out the closet.

I suppose...and that's where all the trouble started

2007-06-01T11:49:00.000-04:00

I suppose I should mention that I sold a short story. Another crime fiction-y piece. Strangely enough, I was just getting ready to revise it for Hardboiled when a magazine that I'd sent it to over a year ago emailed me and asked if it was still available. So it'll be out in Shred of Evidence soon. It wasn't a big sale -- teeny, actually -- but still, a sale. There's just not a huge market for that type of short fiction. Well, at least not one that really pays anything. But that's okay. It was a story I wrote because I had this image in my head. I didn't think it was going to be all that marketable even when I wrote it.

Have had another short fiction fantasy piece floating around in there too. I need to get it down on paper.

And now that I have at least part of my office (my books are unpacked! my books are unpacked!) put together now, I feel like I've got a real workspace.

Kismet

2007-05-30T13:33:00.000-04:00

No one can tell me that Tony and I don't have some weird kind of connection. We're always doing things like finishing a sentence or thought or bringing up something from years ago when both of us - for some unknown reason - think of it on the same day. Today I emailed him asking what he wanted to go with his buffalo chicken and he emailed back tater-tots (which we haven't had in ages), but I didn't get his email until after I got back from the store...with tater-tots. Kinda funny.

Things are going well here. I really ought to update the Chicago blog. Lots going on.

Blechiness

2007-05-16T23:36:00.000-04:00

I've been having a cold coming on for the last few days. It's pretty much taken up residence now. The funny thing is, it always seems to start with Tony. First he complained of a sore throat and then I had one. Then, after a day of feeling a little icky, he seems to be back to feeling fine and I'm on to buying extra boxes of kleenex. How exactly does this always work out this way??

Knitting news...

2007-05-13T12:34:00.000-04:00

In further knitted cephalopod news, Sherry Weller wrote in to share the lovely knitted nautiloids from her online Nautie Knit-Along.

That's from one of today's spam in my inbox. It makes me laugh. How in the world do they come up with this stuff?

Actually...I randomly did a search and I think I found where it might have originated. Sorta.

That actually makes me laugh even more, in a way. What a crazy world--a world where people knit nautiloids and other people lift that idea to add to spam messages.

The Name Game (MEME)

2007-05-11T18:01:00.000-04:00

1. What are your siblings' names? Are your names related by a theme?
Lisa and Pamela. Well, maybe. Supposedly, my name came from Kimbees diapers made by Kimberly Clark and Pam's was from Pampers. I don't know if that's really true or one of those things that your parents tell you to embarass you.

2. What are your pets' names?
Harley and Grace.

3. Do you give pet/nick names to your car (or other large posession)?
I call my car "car". Does that count?

4. What meaning does your surname have?

Hmmmm. Well, "Carr" means "marsh, wet ground overgrown with brushwood." which is close to my maiden name of "Karr." Can't find anything for Pauley.

5. If you could name your own country or island, what would you call it?

Ohhhhhhhh. Er, hmmm. I'll have to think about that one.

Digging

2007-05-08T01:30:00.000-04:00

For some reason as I was lying in bed trying to go to sleep and rubbing Gracie's belly (it's very relaxing, rubbing her big soft furry tummy), I had an idea about my old old old manuscript. The kind of traditional fantasy one that I haven't worked on in ages and keep thinking I ought to pick up again. So I got up to write down some notes. That done, now I'm just sitting here, stewing.

I've really got to decide what to work on next. My next major project. I'm not touching the vampire novel for now, even though I did think of a way to make it into a non-vampire novel, because I just heard back from the publisher again that they are still looking at it.

So, do I work on...

...the traditional fantasy with the kind of classic "unlikely hero takes on evil" coming-of-age/epic journey thing and the kick-butt heroine sidekick/romantic interest?
...the used to be middle grade fantasy where the girl finds out she's next in line to be queen of the fairies that I have to turn into something else because the whole fairy queen thing is completely overdone (not to mention the fairy thing in general)?
...the new(er) idea involving the son of Death (i.e. death-in-training) who falls in love with a dying girl who doesn't believe in death (funnier than it sounds, honest)?
...the super freaks with the stupid powers who discover they aren't useless after all (though this does have the issue of the recent influx of super-power kids)?
...the adult chick lit featuring Earlene, a bra factory in Georgia, an unwilling bra model, and a possibly stolen pick up truck?
...the probably middle grade, slightly tongue-in-cheek Serious McElvoy story about a boy genius who dies an untimely and rather messy death to become an angel fifth class?

Those are just the most viable bits. I've got other WIPs but I'm trying not to even think of those now. There's one that does sound viable...but every time I try to write on it I just don't like the character and I drop it. So it isn't going anywhere.

The traditional fantasy is probably the most along, even though the Abigail fairy-queen one is probably longer...but I definitely need to go back to the drawing board on it. I've thought about just making it a more straightforward "girl's grandmother dies and she refuses to accept it and goes into Death to get her back" but that doesn't much sound like a middle grade kind of story, now does it? What about just making it a fairies kidnap grandmother one? Except that makes no sense...they only do changelings for babies...grrrrr.

And the short bit I have of Sylvie...but I have no idea where that is going. It's just an interesting bit. Maybe I'll try shipping it out as a short story. Ack.

Which reminds me that I need to finish the re-write on the short story about Hildie-with-the-bloody-hand-in-her-purse and get it back out to the magazine that asked for it a while back. After all, we actually do have a stable address again. I have no excuse not to get it out the door again.

But I really need to pick a full length thing to work on. Which will it be?? Anyone want to read too many first chapters? Ha.

[slightly later]

And I just found a couple of chapters of a story I'd completely forgotten about. Rather promising, though it is another adult chick lit type of thing and I keep thinking I ought to just stick with what I know...YA. But it is kind of a fun piece. "Starting Tomorrow"

Mystery Magazines

2007-04-30T17:06:00.000-04:00

For some reason unknown to me, I have two magazine subscriptions that I did not order and don't know of anyone ordering for me. I have no idea why they are coming. The Wired one has actually been going on for quite a while, with a brief (also unexplained) hiatus. The New York magazine one just started. Don't get me wrong, I like the magazines. I just have no idea why I'm getting them. And when I log in to their websites, it tells me I'm paid up all the way into next year.

Isn't that weird? Did someone get me a subscription and not tell me? And, if so, why did they get me the New York magazine, which is all about stuff happening in a city I don't live in? Not that it isn't interesting, but it's not like I can just pop over there any time I want. I dunno. It's just another random bit of world weirdness.

The tops of the trees

2007-04-30T14:20:00.000-04:00

I just got one of the strangest spam messages ever, I think:

Subject: The tops of the trees were now engulfed in the fog and now struggling above it.

Message: They can get into your body, you know.

And that was it. No embedded image, nothing. It's a mystery to me. Maybe someone is having an existential crisis of some sort.

My Daemon

2007-04-26T19:21:00.000-04:00

Movieland

2007-04-18T19:55:00.000-04:00

We've been watching a lot of movies lately, probably due to the whole actually having a TV room thing. Last night we watched The Fifth Element, one of my favorites. Then I went to Best Buy today (had to bring my Gateway PC in...long story and one I'm rather too embarassed to tell, computer geek that I am) and there's a new Fifth Element out with over 2 hours of special interviews and what not. I hate it when they do that. I want all that stuff, but I've already got one copy, darn it!!

Pam, you want a copy of the Fifth Element? ;-)

Night before we watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I still just love that movie. I hope they never remake that one. It would be a shame. Remakes are almost never as good. (side note...why was Mia Sara the only one who didn't do a cast interview for the new release? everyone else did...it was interesting to see how they'd all aged...though I already knew about Jennifer Grey's nose job.)

Night before that was Ocean's Eleven. Thought it was about time, since Ocean's Thirteen is coming up. It was actually good. I was kind of surprised. In general, there seems to be an inverse relationship between the amount of A-list actors in a movie as compared to the quality of said movie. Take Ready to Wear as an example (shudder -- Oh, the horror).

So tonight will be Ocean's Twelve. Hopefully it is as good as the first one.

Movies are good when you are studiously trying to ignore the news. It's bad enough reading the depressing stuff; I don't want to see it too.

Start making sense

2007-04-17T23:58:00.000-04:00

I've been mad before. I've been depressed before. I've probably even jokingly said that I wanted to kill someone. But I can't imagine actually doing it. What makes a person snap and take the lives of others? I just can't grasp it. I don't understand.

I was reading some of the articles about the professor who gave his life to save his students. And bios of some of the dead. It depresses me to read about it but somehow I feel like I owe them that much. I may never have met them in life and likely wouldn't have if they'd lived, but the small thing I can do for them now is remember them.

Still -- it's just craziness. What a mad, mad world indeed.

Monday, busy Monday

2007-04-16T17:22:00.000-04:00

Had an electrician out this morning and a flooring guy this afternoon. And the first visit from the cleaning people. Sadly, my alarm didn't go off so I had to answer the door in my bathrobe for the electrician. Lovely hair. Not.

Freaked out

2007-04-15T06:59:00.000-04:00

I'd whittled myself down to just one pain pill a day (generally taken at night) a while back, with brief upsurges when the back/leg pain got unbearable (had a few really bad days while moving/packing/unpacking). I really just want to get off of it completely. I don't like what it does to me and I don't care what they say about it causing euphoria...that's not one of the side effects that I get. Mostly it just makes me sleepy and sometimes kind of addled and fuzzy. I sleep well and badly at the same time. Always have a hard time getting up.

So last night I didn't have a lot of pain so (I guess I can call it last night, even though I haven't slept much of it) I thought I'd see how I'd do skipping the pill completely. Well, let's just say that the withdrawal symptoms didn't hit right away, but by 5 AM, they were driving me crazy. I thought I'd been doing pretty good, getting down to just the one pill. I didn't think skipping it one night would be that bad.

I finally went and took a pill about 5:15 AM. But they take a little bit to kick in, so I went to the laptop (my true drug of choice, I suppose) to look up hydrocodone and withdrawal symptoms and what not. Maybe some hints on the best way to get off of it, no matter that the dr. prescribes it for my pain. I'm hoping that it could be something that I could just take when the pain gets really bad and not on a daily basis. After all, the pain is much, much better now than it was before when I could hardly walk or move. It's pretty light to moderate on a normal day, though I can still have a bad day now and then for no apparent reason.

To make a long story short, the information I find on it scares the bejesus out of me. The dr. definitely never covered this stuff as much as I think he should have.

This I pretty much knew:

Hydrocodone is a semi synthetic opioid (narcotic) derived from two of the naturally occurring opiates, codeine and thebaine. Hydrocodone is prescribed for the relief of moderate to moderately severe pain. It is taken orally as an active narcotic analgesic (pain killer) and an anti tussive (cough suppresant). The pain relief by hydrocodone is thought to involve peripheral and central actions but the exact mechanism(s) remains unknown. Because the drug acts on the brain, its major side effects are central and include dizziness, drowsiness, nausea, vomiting, euphoria, lightheadedness and confusion.

I can certainly testify to the lightheadedness, the dizziness, the drowsiness, and the confusion.

This I didn't know:

Hydrocodone may also affect the center that controls respiratory rhythm, and may produce irregular and shallow breathing.

Sometimes I get that choke-y feeling of not being able to get enough air. It's freaky.

And it goes on to say:

Repeated hydrocodone use can lead to habitual craving and lead to both physical and psychological dependence. In those individuals who take hydrocodone for prolonged periods, sudden stoppage of the medication can lead to withdrawal symptoms. These may include extreme anxiety, difficulty breathing, vomiting, sweating, palpitations, lack of concentration and an intense craving for the drug.

The dr. had started me on tramadol first, back in early 2005. But he put me on hydrocodone that same year, at first having me take 2 pills at a time, 4 times a day. When I took that many, I just really couldn't function. I went down to 3 times a day, even when he was still recommending 4. At any rate, I've been on some dosage of it for over a year. Yeesh, drawing close to 2 years. Is it any wonder that I haven't finished my second novel? That's an excuse, but I think a valid one.

Anyway, getting back to the withdrawal symptoms. The only ones I didn't have this morning by 5 AM are the vomiting and the intense craving. Well, I suppose it equates to a craving, even though mentally I really *don't* want to take it. As mentioned on a different website, I also have some other symptoms (that I didn't even realize were symptoms): a runny nose, restless legs (that's the one that really drives me crazy), crying for no reason (I get this quite a bit, actually...a particularly beautiful song playing on the radio makes me want to cry sometimes).

And more:

The time period of drug consumption which leads to dependence is variable but may range anywhere from 6-12 months of continued use. Dependence and addiction to this drug is usually treated with slow withdrawal of the drug, use of methadone, psychological and supportive therapy through an effective drug rehab program.

Methadone?? Frigging methadone?? I just...I don't even know what to say to that.

Others report similar issues to me:

I find that I am constantly tired and have none of my normal ambition. I sleep 9-11 hours per night and still never feel rested.

Tony gets on me sometimes for how long I seem to sleep. It's not that I want to sleep 11 hours a day. Or 10 or whatever. Even when I do, I feel like I haven't slept at all. I guess it's just good to see that I'm not alone in this.

And at least there's this:

Physical dependance is not the same thing as mental addiction though. Some folks are able to take narcotics for pain, appropriately and as prescribed, without ever abusing them.

I don't feel like I abuse them. I generally try not to take them, except when the pain is bad. My prescription is still technically for 3 a day. I almost never take that. Usually I just do the one pill at night. By the end of the day is usually when the pain kicks in.

And this is kinda hopeful:

Question: After taking this medication for a year with back pain what is the best way to stop taking it without withdrawal symptoms?
Answer: It depends on the dosage and the time you have been on the drug. In general, cut the dosage about 20% every week. Once you get to 20% cut 5% a week until it is gone.

I guess what I need to do is start chopping the pills in half for a while instead of going from 1 to none. Some other forums seem to suggest this too. And there are some other drugs you can go on to alleviate the withdrawal, but I kind of hate to do that. That just seems like trading one problem for another.

My big worry, I suppose, is what do I do when the pain gets really bad? The steroid treatment I did late last year really really helped, but it was a one time thing and I've had some bad days since then. I don't have too many bad days any more, but they are still there. If I get completely off of this stuff, is it safe to take a pill every now and then when the pain is really bad?

I guess I need to find a doctor up here now. Not that so far the doctors haven't seemed concerned with how long they've had me on this stuff. But I don't like anything controlling part of my life.

Information taken from:

Just how nerdy am I?

2007-04-10T15:43:00.001-04:00

I took a nerd test after Pam posted her results. Seems I'm a bit nerdier than I might have thought...not! Could be worse, I suppose. It probably would have been higher in college when I was using IRC...

I'm sitting outside even though it is cold because Grace has been dying to go outside for ages. I can see that our front porch is going to be great once it is warmer. There's even already a plug I can plug my laptop into! Whoo-hoo! Hmmm, I guess that's kind of proving the nerd score there, isn't it?

We'll also have the patio in the back (once it is built). We're thinking of having a fire pit in it too. Think that would be cool. Anyway, back to work!

Curious and curiouser

2007-04-05T20:18:00.000-04:00

My childhood wasn't a "normal" one (not that I think there's any such thing as a normal childhood) by any stretch, but it was nothing compared to Augusten Burroughs. Just watched Running with Scissors. I'll have to pick up the book now. Just...wow.

Makes my childhood look downright white picket fence. Well, maybe not exactly, but somewhat. I tend to shy away from writing about it, but maybe I should someday. It's not the big things, though, but the little ones. Ah, memories.

I woke up today with a lot of back and leg pain. Not sure why, since I really took it easy yesterday. So I took a pill and went back to sleep after the patio guy was here. Feel a bit better now, but now I need to get some stuff done. Not that I've gotten nothing done today...I have gotten a few things knocked out. But nothing that really shows. I think I'll work on the guest room now.

Tony is out at dinner with a new person who just started. Someone on his team, I think. Maybe someone who works for him. Wasn't clear on that part. He should be home soon. He took the train in today and was all excited since it took him 40 minutes from leaving the house to sitting at his desk. Not too bad.

Me, I'm listening to Muddy Waters. Had mac & cheese with tuna for dinner.

That sounds sadder than it actually was.

Yay! And, oh no!

2007-04-04T21:00:00.000-04:00

First: the Yay!

Tony made it back from Toronto and is right now on his way here from the airport. He missed the train by 7 minutes (ugh!) so he's taking American Taxi.

Then: The Oh No!

I got a fair amount done while he was gone but not everything that I had planned on. Surprise. Hoo-wah.

All of my (current) orphan boxes are gone though and the garage is a lot more spacious; seems that everyone needs free boxes. I'll have more soon after I unpack some more stuff. As in books.

Today was probably the least productive day...my back was bothering me for most of it. I finally broke down and took one of my pills but that, as you can probably guess, is not conducive to actually getting anything done. It is, however, very handy if you want to take a nap with the cats. Harley makes an excellent fur blanket and Grace makes a plump pillow.

On bullet holes...

2007-04-03T21:14:00.000-04:00

This, by the way, is what a bullet hole in the back of your Mercedes looks like. Well, after you'd (obviously) been driving around in snow & salt. My poor car is now happy to be whole again and living in a place where no one will shoot it and where it has a nice little garage to sleep in.

Just thought I'd share. We're past the stage where the situation horrified and scared us. Now, I'm at that place where I can look back and laugh...kind of.

All legal again

2007-04-03T20:51:00.000-04:00

I went today and (after two wrong turns...which is funny if you understand that I shouldn't have turned AT ALL) got my Illinois drivers license and got my car registered. So I'm all legal again. I was kinda illegal because I should have gotten my car registered in January (my birthday month) but didn't because a) at first, we thought we were going to move to an apartment up here while we looked for a house and then b) my car got shot and I couldn't drive it anyway and c) I didn't want to give Kentucky any more of my stinkin' money. It all worked out okay. I'm all registered up now.

They actually make you take the vision test and a written exam here when you move in from another state. Kentucky didn't make you do any of that. I don't think Florida did either. I got my first license in Mississippi...not going to think about how long ago that was...

I actually missed one question on the test. Ack! But it wasn't because I didn't know the answer. I just didn't get how they were wording the questions. I guess they didn't care anyway, since they gave me the license. :-) I still felt like a dork for missing it though. It was on the shape of the sign warning you that kids are around and to be careful. LOL so I suppose all those kiddos in the neighborhood ought to watch out for me.

Let's see...other than that...everything is going okay. The dresser arrived yesterday. Also the table and chairs, but the hardware was missing on those, so they are Fed-Ex'ing the rest to us and I'm supposed to call the delivery company once we've got it so they can set it all up. No biggee. Just need to find out when the couches are going to get here. Right now we've got one wicker chair and the La-Z-Boy in the family room (which, of course, means that you can often find Harley there, if he isn't burrowed into the bed).

In other news...I think I should ban myself from watching Law & Order or CSI (and all the clones thereof). We've got cable again...actually, we've got super-cable now. Tony went ahead and got whatever the big package is. We figured we'd cancel things we didn't use. It's got DVR, On Demand, all kinds of stuff. I've determined that there's an episode of L&O or CSI on at any given time of day. I like the show but a) they can be real downers and b) I don't need to be watching that much TV. Shoot, I've still got a bazillion books to unpack. And a bazillion reviews to write up. If I can just work around my Spring Allergy headache (the sniffly sneezy head-going-to-explode headache).

Caught up...

2007-03-28T18:56:00.000-04:00

I think I've finally caught up with blog posting. Mostly. I've posted about all the new places we've been in our Chicago blog.

Things are going well. Nothing too disappointing, though I have given up on not wearing ear plugs to bed. Noises just wake me up. Here is nowhere near as bad as our last house though! Not even close! There are no crazy UPS planes dive bombing the house here and no gaggles of sorority girls stumbling home drunk at 4 AM.

There are trains, but they are fewer and farther between (and not quite as noisy and much more useful; Tony will be taking one to the office and to the airport). The worst thing is actually these two attic vents on the outside of the house that someone had the crazy idea of locating outside the master bedroom. When the wind picks up (and it does that a lot around here, so far as I can tell), they rattle. We're going to see if there's a way to reduce the rattling. If there is, then I probably won't even need the ear plugs anymore. That'd be nice.

Tomorrow...

2007-03-20T17:15:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I need to get a lot of things done. Shoot, I needed to get a lot done today. So far today I've closed out my PO Box, gotten my car title fixed, picked up more cat food & confirmed that the food I have is not part of the recall (same plant but different date ranges), had lunch, and picked up some additional U-Haul boxes. Also did the whole email/phone call thing with our realtor, the buyer's realtor, our realtor up in Illinois, our cleaning lady, and the closing title lady down here. And some packing and laundry. More packing to do later tonight. And get a check from the buyers for the furniture they bought.

Tomorrow I need to:

get a key to Missy
take care of a bunch of banking stuff
drop off a load of stuff to Goodwill
possibly drop by the dr. to authorize a copy of my records
wash the last load of clothes

And, of course, finish up any last minute packing. I hope that's it. It always seems like there is something more. Oh yeah, need to go by the store and buy some more cat litter, I think.

Right now I just might take a wee bit of a nap.

blogerator

2007-03-20T02:00:00.000-04:00

I keep debating about starting up a new blog -- a private one. Blogger has that feature now where you can block your blog or just allow only certain people to view it (they have to log on). Sometimes there are things I want to kvetch about and I don't really want to do it in a public place. Sometimes I'll write about them in my offline journal -- a real, honest-to-goodness diary. But I never remember to write happy stuff in it, so then it just winds up being a really depressing thing to thumb through. I dunno.

I think I am going to start a new blog for our move to Chicago though. Kind of like what we did with our Louisville blog. It was really handy -- people/family could keep up with what we were up to and we could use it as a reference to all the places we'd discovered. I had been thinking about just adding that stuff to this blog, but it doesn't really go somehow. I can move the few entries that I made about restaurants to the new blog.

Esp. since I want to be more structured and consistent with my writing once we move. This is kind of my writing / hopes / dreams / fears blog. Maybe I'll go really crazy and post my word totals for the day. Then people can yell at me when I don't write. heh.

Yikes. Kind of crazy, isn't it? Maybe I should just go back to the whole paper & pen thing and not worry about keeping this stuff online at all.

Rain, rain

2007-03-19T14:38:00.000-04:00

It's very nasty out today. I was going to go take care of my title (the state screwed it up) today, but I don't really want to venture out. So I'm taking it easy and just doing some more packing. I think I might need to go out tomorrow and get a few more boxes. I'm not sure yet. I have about 4 half-full boxes, but I'm not sure yet what the heck I can fit in the top half. We're down to weird-shaped stuff.

Counting down...

2007-03-18T13:39:00.000-04:00

We're definitely at the counting down stage. And the "oh-geez-where-do-I-put-all-this-miscellaneous-junk-that-won't-fit-in-a-box" stage.

We have a lot of stuff.

Too much stuff.

We've purged some and we really ought to purge some more. I have a whole car load of stuff to take over to Goodwill. Need to find out where I can donate old eyeglasses too. I know there's got to be a place somewhere I can donate them. And old cell phones. Though I don't know if I should leave my old one in my car for when we sell it, since it works with it. A junker cell phone though, it's pretty much seen its last call.

Did have a pleasant surprise today. A guy came by to buy our old air filter / purifier. I'd had it listed on Craigslist for $100. They sell new for $399 or up. He gave me $120 for it and I ran after him to tell him he gave me too much and he told me he did it on purpose and to keep it. Wasn't that nice? It was a good deal, but still. That's rare for someone to pay you more than you were asking for something. And nice, especially since a different guy was supposed to have come at 10 AM today for it and didn't show at all, no phone call, nothing. So I'm glad this guy got it instead. He had a cute little daughter.

The kitties are definitely freaking out. They are running out of places to sit, what with us selling furniture and moving stuff around. Grace is sticking to me like glue, yowling her head off for attention. Harley just looks at me accusingly, like he's saying "What have you done with all of my stuff??"

Packing, packing, and more packing

2007-03-13T13:46:00.000-04:00

We have a lot of stuff. We're getting rid of quite a bit, but we're actually to the point now where some of it I'm just packing to deal with later. That means 3 boxes marked "Misc. Crap -- Stuff to File Later." The third floor is just about done though, including the attic space. Just need another box or two to finish it off. And I'll pack up the desktop computer sometime next week.

On the second floor, not too much to do at all. Just the bathroom stuff (next week) and two mantle's worth of knick-knacks. I'd packed up just about all the clothes earlier when we thought we'd be moving to a temporary apartment.

Been getting rid of stuff via Craigslist too -- some for sale, some for free. I posted up free magazines and was amazed at how many people responded to that. Wound up giving them out to 3 different people, including, coincidentally enough, the wife of a guy that actually got up all our leaves this past winter. Small world.

May be selling the file cabinet and fountain too. Someone should be coming tomorrow for the file cabinet. Not sure about the lady for the fountain. She emailed asking if I'd take $130 and then haven't heard back since I responded to her.

Kicking up all the dust has been killing my allergies. And my back is getting worn down every day. Taking a pill during the day now too, not just one at night. But trying to hold off until I need to take one. Trying not to move too much, but just stacking boxes and and moving stuff around is getting to me. Doesn't take a lot these days. I'm broken. But mostly it is going okay.

Hopefully the car will be done soon. Kind of one funny thing -- they'd put the wrong car model number on the new trunk lid. So it said SLK 230 instead of SLK 320. I was like...uh...that'll be a problem whenever we want to sell it or trade it in, dontcha think?

The house is officially sold to Cartus, so we should have the equity check very soon. The rest of the relocation money we don't want paid out until after we move --- KY taxes are killer. Illinois is much better. I'm guessing it is better all the way around, so far as I can tell.

Cat Pictures. Just Because.

2007-03-01T18:30:00.000-05:00

Gracie about to go medieval on somebody. Or, at least, it looks that way. It was probably just her getting up and leaving because Harley wanted the pillow and she didn't want to fight. She's a lover, not a fighter.

And here's the two of them in their belly-up, worshipping the fire pose. They love to lay down in front of the fire. Note the two separate quilts for them to lie on. I made both of those and I guess they assume I made them for them.

I miss my car

2007-02-26T17:30:00.000-05:00

I miss my car. Poor thing. It's still in the shop. They called to get authorization to work on it today. But it will probably take at least a week or two before I get it back. Meanwhile, I have some smelly Pontiac to run around town in. It has horrible blind spots (for me). May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the arm pits of whoever killed my car.

Tony is actually in town today. He was supposed to leave Sunday for Toronto and I even took him to the airport, but his flight was canceled. He tried again this morning, same result. So he's actually working in the Louisville office today. Probably just as well; he can water his poor plants. I wonder if they are still alive. He hasn't been there in ages.

I posted some additional items for sale on Craigslist today and cross-posted them to our Louisville blog. We'll see what happens. Tony really wants to sell the armoires. Have a few more things to possibly post, but waiting until after Wednesday since the people buying the house might be interested in some of it. I'll give them first crack at it.

UnTruth in Advertising.

2007-02-23T16:43:00.000-05:00

Well. I have to say that I was disappointed in the cheesey bites pizza. Definitely not as good as they'd have you believe from the commerical. It was just okay. Though Harley did seem to like the sausage.

Freewriting exercise...

There was a room in a house. A very quiet room. A lonely room. It held a desk, pushed up against a drab green wall and a chair, threadbare, pushed up against the desk. There was nothing else in the room except for dust motes floating carelessly in the small rays of sunshine coming through a window.

The door was kept locked at all times, which made it that much more mysterious when letters began appearing, nicely folded and smelling vaguely of lavendar, on the desk. A new letter every week.

You might call them love letters; the room certainly did. And it waited for days and weeks and months and years for someone to come read them.

That was the thing about the room. It was very lonely, but it was infinitely patient. It did not note the passing of time in anything except the slow dance of sunlight back and forth across the room and the occassional patter of rain drops against the window. Once, a mouse ventured in, but soon retreated, leaving behind only a small gap between the baseboard and the floor to show it had ever been.

The house around the room was lively, though, and thick with laughter and tears and all of the things that go with people. Three children, grown and raised, had moved through the halls, passing every day by the room and never once giving it a thought. And the room never thought about them. They were nice enough people, surely, but not the right kind of people. They were just your every day soccer mom car pooling cookie sales family over for the holidays send the kids off to school and always remember to leave milk for Santa kind of people. Not at all the kind of people the room was waiting for.

Second Life and Pizza Hut

2007-02-23T16:08:00.000-05:00

I'd read about Second Life somewhere and thought I would check it out. Looks like it might be kind of cool, but I think our Internet connection here is just too spotty. Keeps crashing. Maybe I'll check it out again once we move. After all, I created an avatar called Lirael Widdershins. Man, I love that name. Widdershins. Always loved that.

Still sick today. Feel drained. Like a carrot left behind by Bunnicula.

Haha. See, I can't get away from ya and kiddie lit. It's just a part of me. I have more useless knowledge and connections floating around in my head than you can shake a stick at.

Anywho...

I have been a victim of television advertising. I just ordered a Pizza Hut cheesey bites pizza online. Never had one before, definitely don't really need one, but have been craving one because of all the stupid commercials. I've been watching more TV since I've been sick. I'd normally read or something like that, but my head has been so fogged up from being sick that I've just been vegging in front of the TV instead. Though we only get like 3 channels, so I don't have a lot to pick from. Only getting 3 channels also means you see a lot of the same commercials over and over again. Hence the cheesey bites pizza.

Though I have to admit it kind of cracks me up to see Jessica Simpson or whatever her name is bunny-hopping into a limo.

And in my first life..

Got a copy of the estimate on fixing the car. Thank heavens for car insurance.

Stuffed up

2007-02-22T18:05:00.000-05:00

Still sick. Feeling really blah. Would like to hook up a vacuum hose to my sinuses.

There's another showing of the house tomorrow. Guess Don wants to bring someone by around 2 PM. Chris told him we had a verbal agreement, but I guess since nothing is final yet, people can still come by. Don't know if this is the same person Don brought by before or someone else. No idea.

I'm not sure if I'll exit the house or not for the showing. I'll definitely stay out of the way, but I'm hoping I'll feel good enought tomorrow to actually get some work done. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I need to start doing free writing exercises or something. Something creative. Have been stewing on some book ideas too. But my head feels too stuffed up and groggy to do any real writing. I suppose that's just an excuse, though.

What I really feel like doing is taking out my charcoal and a drawing pad. Or painting. But I don't really want to make a mess in the house right now. Not to mention I need to pack all that stuff up.

Watched Howl's Moving Castle yesterday. I thought it was kind of strange that, other than the note "based on the novel by Diana Wynne Jones" at the very beginning, she was never mentioned again. All the interviews, etc. all talked about the Japanese fellow that first animated it. Talking about his wonderful imagination, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. What about DWJ? It was her story first.

Great story too. I'll have to pick up the book sometime. And don't get me wrong, the animation was great. Wonderfully inventive. But, in my opinion, he was the one adding to a story. The central seed of it was planted by DWJ.

Am also very excited to see that they are making a movie of Neil Gaiman's Coraline. One of my very favorite books. One of the only perfect books out there -- I wouldn't change a word in it.

Grace-apy

2007-02-22T01:04:00.000-05:00

Thank heaven for Gracie and Harley. I can't hardly wait until we move. This only having Tony on weekends really stinks. Especially when I'm feeling sick. There's nothing more pathetic than being all sniffly by yourself.

If it weren't for our furry kids, I'd be really stir crazy.

I tried calling a couple of antique shops today about the armoires. Tony'd really like to sell them. I'm wondering if it might be better to try and sell them once we've moved. Bigger market up there. Maybe I'll put them on Craigslist up there. Dunno. Maybe I'll try and Ebay it. Agh.

I've been debating about selling our nightstand too. I found one almost just like it online except ours is actually in better shape (no cracks in the marble) and even prettier (more carving). The one online is on sale for $550. I think the lady buying the house had mentioned to her realtor that the nightstand was one of the pieces she was thinking about buying. I dunno. I like the piece, but it doesn't really go with anything else we have. But it is a nice stand.

I dunno, I just feel so up in the air right now. I'm not even sure why. Actually, I know why. Tony kind of centers and grounds me. When he's gone, I feel all discombobulated.

Isn't that a great word?

Of scrotums & librarians

2007-02-21T17:20:00.000-05:00

I am so glad to be moving out of Kentucky. I know that stupid, small-minded people are everywhere, but Kentucky seems to have quite their share. One of which is a local Louisville librarian named Wendy Stolls who is one of the librarians who has chosen not to stock a Newberry Award winning book called The Higher Power of Lucky because it includes the word scrotum (but not even a person's scrotum...it is a dog that gets bit by a snake).

The discussion has been going on about this in the local MidSouth SCBWI list, but also on blogs all over (like Neil Gaiman's).

I am just disgusted. It's bad enough that books are challenged for stupid reasons (I mean, come on -- just using the word scrotum??) but for librarians to be censoring books because they are too scared to actually teach children is just...AGH. The most common reasoning from those who aren't stocking it? Something along the lines of "Geez, I don't want to be the one to explain what that is to a kid!"

Excuse me, but isn't teaching children part of your job if you are a teacher or librarian? Isn't that exactly the thing you are supposed to be doing?? There's nothing dirty about body parts. But there is something wrong with librarians who don't want to teach kids and who effectively censor books.

Just another thing that makes me glad to be moving out of the state.

Gaaaaaaaaah

2007-02-21T14:20:00.000-05:00

Oh the humanity...I was feeling almost human yesterday, but today my nose won't stop running and I can't stop coughing and hacking. Gah. All I want to do is sleep. Good thing we still have like a month to pack, 'cause I don't think I'm getting much done today.

And the house...Think the negotiations have come to a close and we seem to have an offer on the table. Everything should be finalized on Friday. I guess the people who are buying the house are surgeons and they have crazy surgery schedules or something so they can't get everything back until then. That's ok. It's no big rush.

Good deed of the day...Gave away an old printer today. Had posted it on Craigslist. Our old HP Photosmart P1000. He came by to pick it up today and got a ticket in the 3 minutes he was here. Had to call the Parking people to get that sorted out, since we do have a visitor's permit. Crazy. They don't normally swoop down like vultures as soon as people park. He was just unlucky.

And that's all she wrote...going to call Tafel back about my poor car now and see how it is doing.

Friends with Money

2007-02-20T21:20:00.000-05:00

Just finished watching a movie: Friends with Money (Frances McDormand, Catherine Keener, Joan Cusack, Jennifer Aniston). Pretty good. Kind of one of those movies where there's not exactly a plot...more like a slice of life kind of thing. Definitely departure for both Cusack and Aniston, IMO...Joan plays someone really normal & adjusted and Jennifer plays a pothead down on her luck.

Still sick with whatever it is that Tony gave me. Still going through kleenex, though not at quite as alarming a rate as I was.

Still in negotiation with the realtors over the house. Too bad the people that came yesterday haven't made an offer. I imagine it was too soon for them, since I think they just started looking. They seemed to like the house and they were nice. Of course, I guess they still could make an offer. We haven't signed anything yet. I imagine the people making the offer are nice too, though. Just haven't met them. I just hope whoever buys it will take care of it. We put a lot of time & money & love into this house. I'd hate for it to go to waste. Man, I wish I hadn't had those custom bookshelves put in. I love those. I don't want to leave them. Ah, well.

There was another showing today. It was a good thing I left early since they got here early -- I left a little after 4 and noticed them coming in when I drove by. They were supposed to have been here at 4:45. It was just one younger looking guy and the realtor. Don't know anything about them other than they left muddy footprints in the bathroom and left the linen closet door open.

Oh - anyone notice the pictures I added to the side of the blog? I love that picture of Gracie. Though, honestly, not sure anyone reads this other than Pam (hey, Pam). So, if some complete stranger happens upon this, hey, take a look at my fat cat. Isn't she funny?

I wish I could shake this illness. I really need to start packing. Also have lots of work I need to do on the website AND I really need to get the tax stuff together before Tony gets home. Not to mention...I'm completely SICK of snot.

Some additional pictures...

2007-02-20T11:27:00.000-05:00

I put up all the photos I'd taken of the new house from the first showing. I think Tony has taken some more from the inspection, so I'll add those later.

Crazy evil cats

2007-02-20T02:04:00.000-05:00

So I heard a noise a few minutes ago and got up to investigate. Turns out it was a cat in the backyard. I watched in disbelief as it ambled up to one of our potted outdoor plants (a salvia, I think), hopped up on it, and preceeded to relieve itself in the plant. Geez. It can't just go in the yard? Or in a corner? Or in the dirt? No, it has to go poop in my plant. Good thing the strawberries really never came in this year.

Busy, busy bee

2007-02-19T20:14:00.000-05:00

Today was a busy day. Guy and his girlfriend came over to buy the 3rd floor desk and wound up buying the office chair too (she asked if I was going to sell it too and I was like "eh, why not?"). So then I spent a while rearranging the space up there and cleaning up (dusty under the desk!) because there was a showing later in the afternoon. Got it all looking ok.

Then borrowed a digital camera from Rich since Tony took ours with him to Deerfield this trip to do the house inspection. Someone responded to the Craigslist ad for the armoires asking for more pictures and the dimensions. Measured those, took pics, emailed them back. Then a lady came by to buy the TV.

Was feeling a bit peaked (still sick with the flu or whatever it is I've got), so I laid down for a bit and woke up when people came to see the house (thought they were supposed to be here at 4:30 and they got here at 3:45). Scrambled and made the bed. Gave them some house history.

Then got a fax from Chris with an offer on the house from the people who were here on Saturday. Talked with Tony about it and gave Chris our counter. So waiting to hear back from that now. We'll see what happens.

Tony said the inspection just found 3 things -- a gas leak in the basement (ack!), no maintenance lables on the furnace (so looks like it may never have been cleaned), and something really weird with the garbage disposal -- no switch on it. The guess is that the island wasn't originally supposed to have one, so when they added it, they just used it by plugging it in and unplugging it. Weird. So I guess he's going back and asking about all of those things.

I guess that's about it. Had my soup, going to veg for a while and go to sleep. Cheers.

In the meantime, still going through kleenex like there's no tomorrow.