Day one

Well, I got good news and bad news at the dr. yesterday. My calf has been doing badly, so I had to get shots there (ouch) but he thought I'd be ok to get completely off of the evil pill. So today is day one without any.

So...

I'm totally dizzy. And queasy. Barely know which way is up and my head feels like it is full of cotton -- but strangely ready to explode at any moment. Heh. cotton shrapnel.

I know it will get better, but today sucks. There are *so* many things I should be doing and I don't feel capable of doing any of them.

Sleep though...sleep would be really really nice...

(you know, I use way too many ellipses...)

Why is it...

...that things only work AFTER you've called the help desk and explained the whole situation? I think there's a law somewhere that says that...just like your nose only itching when you wash dishes.

And why do cats like fish so much when they can't stand water?

Two Projects finished....

So I finished up a few things I'd been meaning to. I had three little canvases that I'd painted blue and green a while ago. The photo didn't come out great -- the flash washed it out, but they are now three kitty cat pictures. Maybe if you click through for the big view you can tell. The fat Gracie one came out best.
Then I finished re-painting the little table for the bathroom. I sanded it, painted it black, and then painted on freehand some poppies and mums. At least, I intended for them to look like poppies and mums, so hopefully they do.

And if I write a letter, it won't get there on time...

(definitely 80's)

This just makes me so mad:

http://www.illinoistimes.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A5131

Of course, that's just one thing that does. There's lots of others.

Life's like sanskrit read to a pony...

...(80's-ish reference)

I'm kind of stuck down in the parlor today. I've got a guy doing yard work (Tony hasn't had the time, seeing as how he's working like 80 hours a week and only home 4 days) and my doctor hasn't approved me for hard labor. So Steve and Ronnie are raking leaves. They live in the neighborhood. Steve is a little odd, but that's par for the course. This is Old Louisville, the home of crackpots, crackheads, and students (who often fit into one of the other groups). I suppose I qualify as a crazy writer lady.

So I'm working on the design document for the St. James Ct. Art Show and cursing my beatiful but ungainly nails. It's like learning to type all over again. It is driving me nuts. I'm seriously thinking about going to a salon and saying "Please, for the love of god, trim these suckers!"

I have to go to the bathroom but I have CIL (cat in lap), so I'm stuck. I think they have a sixth sense for these things -- either they cuddle with you right before you're about to get up or when you have to pee. It's like your nose only itching when you do dishes.

Insidious

I have no quotes or quips today. I'm just tired. I'm not even sure why I'm posting. I have nothing to say.

I did learn that queasiness and nightmares are "expected" side effects from coming off of the evil pill. Yeesh. Who are these people that develop these drugs? Eh??

Actually, they listed about 15 or 20 side effects you might have when coming off this particular pill and I hit ALL OF THEM. I always have been an overachiever, I guess.

I'm getting somewhat organized in my 3rd floor office/project space (as opposed to my 2nd floor "neat" office space where only semi-quiet thinking and letter writing take place). I bought a bunch of bins to hide...er, store things in, but I think I need to pick up a few more or get rid of a lot of stuff. I'm sure Tony would vote for "get rid of" but that just wouldn't be me. I learned at the hands of a master. I don't think my mother throws anything away.

Anyway, I submitted some poetry to two different magazines tonight. Was thinking about submitting a short story...not sure. It's a strange piece, but I like it. I'd even toyed with turning it into a novel (and my last writing group really liked it), but it's just really...weird. No other word for it. And not a YA piece either. I dunno. For now I'll sit on it.

Next step on ze book...a little more clean up (got a ms crit back), a title change, and then off to see the Wizards at Mirrorstone. Well, actually, I guess I need to write up a synopsis too.

Which, of course, means I first need to look up exactly what is supposed to be in a synopsis...hadn't had to write one yet, so it will be my first. I'm assuming it's a chapter by chapter break down...or maybe just a wordier description. Hmmmm....google here I come.

Why don't you tell me something dangerously true...

--oh yeah, that looks much sexier on you
(more of a 90's reference)

Or...I've got a mind full of wicked designs...

Anyway.

When I first started taking the "evil" pill, I spent a good month feeling queasy. Now that I'm coming off it...same thing. Bleck.

On a good note, some of my bulbs are coming up! The daffodils are blooming! Flowers are great.

We actually went to the theater last night and saw a movie. Mrs. Henderson Presents. Pretty good. I love Judi Dench. She's got balls.

A few nights ago we saw another good movie -- Garden State by Zach Braff (who wrote it...directed it...acted in it). Really liked it. Some quirky, almost absurdist humor. I'm impressed. I'd write him a fan letter if I was at all that kind of person.

Sweet peanut! He's giving me a noogie!

Yesterday, I had to take the car in to get a new set of tires.Ugh. Unexpected expense of the month #3. At least they were having a sale, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Since I had to wait for two or three hours, I walked the mall. Then I decided to make Tony happy. I got my nails done with those fake jobies. The fill-in thing. Now I'm having trouble typing, but I know he'll be happy. Ever since I was a little girl, I've had a bad habit of picking at my nails. I don't actually bite them...I just pick at them with my other fingers/nails. It's like my hands have to have something to do. I don't know. It isn't good and I try stopping...it works for a while and then stress or whatever happens...anyway, so I've got fake nails now. I keep stabbing myself. And hitting the wrong key on the keyboard. I have to type kind of flat-fingered now. But it will make Tony happy. He hates it when I pick my nails. We'll see how it goes. They say you can stop or start any habit if you do/don't do it for a month.

Anyway, off to the salt mines.

Another one bites the dust

I know I write about spam a lot, but hey, I get a lot of it. The following is a recent entry that just made me giggle...I thought guys were supposed to like women with, uh...large personalities?

Subject Line: rookie super models sporting petite boobs

Text: just legal girls that have itty bitty titz

Maybe I'm the only one that finds that funny. I don't know.

From childhood's hour I have not been as others were

Hint of the day: if you're already feeling funky and can't quite walk straight...don't eat the leftover taco salad for dinner.

Really.

Boards don't hit back

(truly, Saundra, if you get that one, I will make you cookies and send them to you. I don't think it's an 80's reference though...Probably 70's and maybe even 60's.)

Today is an icky, icky day. Besides the weather (which looks frightfully dull and gray - kind of the quintessential winter sky), I had to take Tony to the airport at 5 AM. We, of course, got a flat tire on the way. Grrr. I thought he was going to spontaneously combust.

Did get him there on time, though, so that was okay. Then I went back home and to sleep, making the mistake of turning off my alarm. Which meant I woke up really, really late. Way past time to take the "evil" pill. Subsequently, I'm so dizzy I can hardly see straight and just feel really, really funky. Little waves of motion and emotion washing over me. And the leg/ligament? Eh, not so happy today.

Not to mention the really, really weird dream(s) I had -- violent, bloody affairs with desperation and sadness written all over them, though at least there was a requited love at the end. (Note: my dreams tend to be like movies and I'm often not even in them)

Best bit:

(boyfriend describing horrible thing that happened to girlfriend to his parents, who are some kind of King/Queen? after the ordeal is over and everyone has been rescued...I'll leave out what the horrible thing was 'cause it really was horrible--lucky for me, it at least seems to have happened "off scene" in my dream/movie.)

While he's telling the story, [girl] hangs her head in shame at a particularly heinous part. The mother immediately takes the girl's chin and lifts it up gently.

"Never be ashamed at what someone has done to you; it reflect only on them and not at all on you."

I'm not describing that real well, since I'm leaving out the nasty bits, but oh well.

I wonder...

I just got a weird-o spam that had the subject line: "your spouse tells you theyre gay now what?" (spacing/punctuation their own). That made me wonder...has there ever been a situation where someone changed their gender (you know, went through the operation and everything) because their spouse told them they were gay? And, if so, did they stay together?

Just a question.

(And, no, not because I'm wondering or anything, just because I'm a writer and that's what writers do...ask weird questions and try to figure out the answer. Though, honestly, I dunno that I'd want to know on this one.)

And those crazy writers, they don't stand a ghost of a chance

(If anyone gets that one, I'll be amazed).

I've been getting up early -- well, early for me. 7:30 - 8 AM-ish. Actually, heck, I think that's early enough for anyone. Been driving the hubby back and forth to work so he doesn't get cold or wet or waste any time -- since all he's doing now is working. Get up, go to work, come back from work, eat, work, sleep. Repeat. I have no idea how many actual hours of work he is putting in, but it sure ain't anywhere near 40.

Hopefully things slow down soon 'cause right now Tony seems to be auditioning for the eighth dwarf: Moody (though sometimes he's just after Grumpy's role). I feel bad for him, but he's also driving me just a teeny bit crazy. ("You need to get some exercise or you'll never get any better." followed by "How can you get anything done if you go for a two hour walk with Rich?" and then there's the "I want to throw out every catalog in the house! We have to contol our spending!" followed by "Of course you can get [x]! You don't have to ask permission!") I'm not sure which way to turn on some days. (Hmmmm, perhaps I should add that, while I love to look at catalogs, I almost never actually order anything. Honest. The last thing I ordered was a Christmas present for Tony from Chef's Catalog. I'm a big window shopper. I like to look. Looking is more fun than buying most of the time. No remorse that way -- well, except for the cool thing that got away.)

I'm not trying to be down on him because he is a stupendous guy who's under a lot of pressure. But, in this house, it isn't "When momma's unhappy, everyone's unhappy." -- it's more of a "when Tony's unhappy..." situation.

At least he's enjoying the actual work. He can fiddle around with a mind map for hours, happily tinkering away. And I think the weekly travel is supposed to be over within the next month. Maybe after his next London trip.

Anyway.

In writing news...I've been working slowly on Abigail. Trying to channel brownie-speak somewhat successfully, if not wholly consistently. I'll have to go back and fix Ha'Penny's speech in my second round.

I also finished Killing Harry, a short story I've had kicking around for a couple of years now. I'm sending it out to Ellery Queen's first and then to Hardboiled (where my first short story was published) if they don't like it. Hopefully someone'll pick it up. It's another noir-ish piece with a female protaganist (question: can you really call a hit woman a "pro"taganist?)

Been doing some work on the site as well. That's pretty consistent right now -- I may need to just pick a couple of days a week to work on it so it doesn't cut into my writing time too much. I do need to mail some books today, but I'll do that on the way to picking Tony up.

I guess that's it. I know there's something more I want to say, but I don't know what it is. I'm in a weird mood. Probably from the spiraling down on the meds. I'm so happy to be finally getting off of them (well, not off yet, but at least taking less now). Still tired though.

And waiting to hear back from agents. Ack. You want to make your time on earth seem longer? Just send something to an agent and wait to hear back. It's like a watching water boil kind of thing.

It's all relative.

Fudge.

And that's all I'll say about that.

I actually finished off two knitting projects this weekend. Whoo-hoo! The brown scarf is for my Auntie Anna (who taught me how to knit) and the orange-y one is for me. I think I might make a hat to match it.

A cat in the lap is worth two in the yard

Pretty quiet day today. We're in our standard couch positions with laptops in the parlor. I actually finally finished Auntie Anna's scarf. Yeah, the one that was supposed to be her Christmas present...I'm a horrible neice.

But at least it is finally done. I'll mail it out tomorrow.

Grace has been quite the Diva lately. I even got a good Diva-Girl picture of her with a (fake) Dior scarf. Dunno if you can see the "Diva" tag on her collar... She's been a good cuddle cat too. Good thing. I need a good cuddle. She's my warm furry teddy bear. With really really bad breath.

Have fun storming the castle, boys!

Up, down. Abigail is going pretty well. I need to just clear off some space and maybe get away from my Internet connection. I keep distracting myself by working on the website. Today I added some forum stuff to the blog and to the site. The forum has picked up quite a bit since I announced the new giveaway (every 50 posts).

And e-mail...ugh. I have so many to answer! My to-do list is too long.

A lot of it is my own fault. If I have a day where I slack off, it just all builds up on me. Grr. But, I just cleaned out my inbox. :-) (by dumping all the emails into a TO-Do folder...)

I want to go to the big flea market today. It's about once a quarter and they have it at the Expo Center.

Dinner last night was good. My Shepherd's Pie came out really well. I've got another extra one for dinner tonight and then off to the airport to pick up Tony!

Marching on...

Listening: Morcheeba, Ambiant Lounge

It's March. How does that happen? Seriously.

Tony is off again to Chicago. Had to take him to the airport dark and early this morning. To me, it really isn't the next day until the sun has actually come up, but I guess that's just me.

Listening: Portishead, Glory Box

I went to the doctor, who said I'd be crazy (well, he didn't actually say crazy...he was more polite than that) to attempt the June biking trip across Bordeaux. Sigh. Maybe Vanessa will have some other ideas for her birthday. He thought I could maybe make it a day or two (the daily average is supposed to be 26 miles) and I'd probably set myself back 6 months or so. So no go.

Tomorrow I'm having either 2 or 6 people over for dinner. Not sure yet. I'm making Shepherd's Pie (actually cottage pie, since I'm using beef and not lamb, but hey). I guess I'll go to the store tomorrow to pick up the rest of what I need once Rich tells me whether they can make it or not (he's got a cousin coming in).

Mostly right now I'm really tired. But, I need to write. Write, Write, Write.

Oh, and pay bills. Drat.