Monday, April 04, 2005

Ouch. Pain Sucks.

I'm feeling sorry for myself today. Maybe it's the meds, I don't know. I suppose I'll just blame it on them, instead of admitting that I'm a big wuss when it comes to pain. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't like taking the medication, since it makes me sleepy, car sick, and generally pretty dopey. But I can't not take it or else I'm a puddle of pain. This is just about worse than when I had the emergency appendix surgery. Probably not, but close enough. It just sucks. I can't do anything. I can't wash clothes, I can't think, I can't sit comfortably, I can't pick anything up. I can't even pet the damn cats unless they jump up on something.

I called the dr. today since the specialist he referred me to said that a) he couldn't see me until May (May!!!) and b) they wouldn't see me at all unless I had an MRI done first. The nurse said the dr. is doing rounds right now and would be there this afternoon, so I guess I'll need to drag my sorry butt over there then. Not sure how, since it's real tough to drive on vicodin. It's tough to do anything.

I think maybe I should just go to a chiropractor, but I don't know. I wish my head was clear.

Ok, ok, I'll try and stop whining now.

I read a book last night that I really loved until the last 5 pages. It's called I'm the Messenger and it's by some Aussie author. I'd put his name down, but the book is to far away to get it. Anyway, it reminded me a lot of Dean Koontz's Odd Thomas, in a good way, until you get to the very end and the author decided to insert himself into the story by creating a character that tells the main character that "look, everything you did, I made you do. Here's my folder of notes that shows it" etc. I hate that. There's no suspension of disbelief when the author shoves himself into the story and it makes you feel like you wasted all your investment into believing the character when you get to the end and the author shoves it in your face.

Ugh, I'm such a bloody mess. I signed up for a Callwave service when I needed a free fax number and I've been trying to cancel it. I did the online cancellation and then it told me I had to call to do it and the guy just kept wanting to sell me more stuff and I just started crying, for heaven's sake and was like "I just want to cancel the account!" Ugh, double Ugh. I'm not a weeper. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it is partly the medicine. I'm so sleepy right now I can hardly stand it, but I can't seem to go to sleep. Somebody just shoot me.

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