Yeah. So I got an email from OpenDiary saying they were reopening the website. Honestly, I didn't even know it had closed. I hadn't been on it since 2011. Before that, I'd had a diary/blog there some years before (but it got lost at some point, possibly when they had a big server crash). They said hey, come reclaim your diary if you want, won't that be fun. And I thought I would, if only to see what I had written because I couldn't remember at all.
And...there's one entry. From May 2011. And I literally could have written it today. I was sad and unhappy that my husband was annoyed/mad/angry/mean nearly 90% of the time and worried that my career as a writer would never be enough to support me and my little dude on my own and it was too late to go back to my old career (and now, that's even worse-- there's no way I could go back as I'm so out of date as to be a veritable dinosaur). I was feeling a little lost about having moved to a foreign country, more for the fact that I wasn't sure how to support myself than for the being far away part. At least that part is better -- not the supporting myself bit, as writing is still about the iffiest effing career ever as clearly evidenced by the royalty statement I just received on my third book, but at least on the comfort level. I'm happier here than in the US, at least. But the rest is mostly the same. Lately, since the job stuff has settled, he's been better. Before that was getting pretty miserable where I felt like I was walking on eggshells all the time. But he still has his days where he's just mad all the time. And I just want him to say something nice every once in a while. To make me feel like he actually, you know, likes me.
Treading water, man.
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