These walls keep closing in...

Listening to a new song by a band called, apparently, Humanwine. It's called Rivolta Sirenziosa...

These walls these walls keep closing in
Oh where do we begin our dismantling?
We call on all to sing!

Yeah. Sounds like a pandemic theme song, huh?

Anyway, I've been useless these past couple of days. Still exercising, but that's been the only thing I've been good about. Too much in my head. It does look like it makes sense to move (when we can) to possibly Oxford. And hubs brought up that maybe we could possibly buy a house, rather than rent. I am sick of renting, to be honest, but I didn't think we were in the shape to do it. And maybe we're not, because it would wipe out savings to do it. But we've gotta do something. Something's gotta give. And he did find a house that *looks* good. No way to look at it, of course. It's all just up in the air. Everything's up in the air.

I'm not doing so well with everything always being up in the air.

It's been too many things. Juggling despair and worries.

I've actually been playing some Mystic Messenger since the lockdown started. It helps--heh, except for the sleeping thing...though I'm not doing that well anyway. Did a run through of Zen (of course), then Jumin, 707, and Yoosung. Though I had saves from day 5 so it wasn't as bad as all that. Did only good ends. Don't want any bad right now. But now I dunno what to do. Try and do Jaehee? I don't have a save there and it's not my favourite, but I didn't really give it a shot last time and kind of sleepwalked/walkthroughed it. So maybe. The only one I haven't done is Ray/Saeran. And I don't think I'm up for that level of devastation right now.

Been painting too. Experimentally. Never tried landscapes before, so working on that and some masks and random things. It helps.

Anyway. Haven't lost much more weight. Haven't gained any either. But I have lost 3% body fat, so I guess that's good. And am changing shape. But I want more of me to be gone. There's too much me. Too much in my head, too much everything.

And I don't want to write right now, but I need to. So. Off to do that.