Organised a bookshelf so it didn't have conspicuously empty spots. Put some more things in the "to go away" stack. Cleaned off some of the things on the kitchen windowsill. Had a small act of rebellion and put the dish with the sponge on the windowsill instead of under the cabinet. I think it dries better there and doesn't make the inside of the cabinet smell. Hung up some more art. Cancelled the Ad Free for Prime as haven't watched anything on there in ages (have also cancelled other things, like Viki).
Accomplishments...
Went by myself to the largest used car dealership in the area. There weren't many cars in my price range that were automatic, and I learned I need to scratch Audi from my list (older models don't support Apple Carplay). He did show me a Ford though, which I hadn't had on my list and it wasn't bad at all. Everything was positioned well for me and the rear boot door opens sideways instead of up. But when I got home and researched it, could see it was overpriced. But I did find another one, with supposedly the nicer trim, elsewhere as well as a nice looking Peugeot. Had to scratch a lot of other cars off my list too--any Mercedes or BMWs and some others that were within the budget I set myself have close to 100K miles. I feel like that's too much. The two I'm considering now are both under 40K.
I am proud of myself for doing this. I hate car shopping. It is hard. I always feel like no matter which I choose, it will be the wrong one. Though now I have to go see those two cars, and one is in Leicester (37 miles away) and the other is in Birmingham (20ish away). And the weather is crap. I don't like to drive here, but I'll do it, because I need to.
The Harder today was that Yamada was in a bad way. They go nearly catatonic with a bad episode and, as far as I can tell, there's nothing you can do except wait it out and bring food. Bit better now, but we didn't get the Christmas Tree decorated or anything like that. Yamada barely left their room (or bed) today.
And I hate that. I hate it because I feel so utterly helpless when that happens. I would do anything if I could fix it for Yamada and make things better.
So I did have a few wee cries today, but at least they didn't last too long. Am trying to talk myself out of them.
Other good. My niece sent me a fancy face mask, so I'm trying it out. I had a bath, which I've been doing nightly. Got some magnesium flakes and lavender bath stuff. It does help. And I've been taking those herbal sleepy/calm pills, which also do help a bit. Don't want to take the full strength Nytol every night.
And I keep thinking about what a friend (mutual friend of the two of us) said after I told her a bit about my side of why he left me/I gave up. She said that he was a lot of fun...until he's not. And that's so true. He can be great...until he's not. And then he's really not. And she said she wasn't surprised.
Sigh. I'm so tired.
In other good news, back about a month ago I had installed Bumble For Friends. I'd tried it out ages ago in London and had kind of met some people and I thought I'd try it again. This was before the world crumbled. Anyway, I'd had it on both male and female at first and then quickly switched to just female as it was obvious the dudes weren't looking for just friendship even though it is literally in the name of the app. Anyway, one lady I've been chatting with seems nice and a good possibility and hopefully we'll meet up in the new year.
I do not think I will ever try a dating app.
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