Romance is a Bonus Book

Romance is a Bonus Book is still airing, but it's almost finished, so I'm breaking my rule. Though I also started watching it because the saved episode I had of It's Okay, That's Love wouldn't play for some reason today while I was out at lunch after the gym. I'd been looking forward to this show, partly because it has an older female lead character (she was born in the same decade as me! woot! eh, whatever...I'm old...but still, one can't help but look for oneself in the media one consumes...) but also because it has something to do with publishing (the lead dude is a writer and she's a copywriter) and even though shows generally always get that stuff wrong, I'm always curious about how writers are portrayed. I knew going in that she was having money/job troubles and that she somehow winds up hiding out in his house? Welllllllll....

Yeah. I have to admit up front that this first episode depressed the hell out of me because I can see myself way too well in her character. Not that I'm in her situation, but it's a situation I can imagine myself in. Let's start over.

Turns out the two leads were friends from way back. The show opens with Kang Dan-yi (played by Lee Na-Young, who I haven't seen in anything before, but I like the look of her) about to get married. Cha Eun-Ho (played by Lee Jong-Suk, who is quite a bit younger in real life and an actor I've been wanting to check out since everyone enthuses about him so much and is totally broken up over him entering his mandatory military service this month) is there to play the piano, but you can sense that he's very ambivalent about her getting married. Well, so is she. She runs and hides out in his car. They've been friends a long time. But he takes her back and she winds up marrying the dude.

Flash forward years later (11? more? I'm not sure.) and she's been divorced from her cheating husband for a year but Eun-Ho somehow doesn't know this. I don't think she wanted to burden him. Maybe she's embarrassed. She has no money. Her kid is in some boarding school that she doesn't have the money to pay for (which also conveniently gets rid of the kid for the purposes of the show, but gives a big reason to need money). She's literally camping out in her previous house, which is now a foreclosed upon wreck about to be demolished. She can't find a job because her skills are out of date (she was a stay-at-home mom, though she used to be a successful copywriter) and she's competing with all these young, fresh-faced graduates. She's cleaning Eun-Ho's house on the sly and he doesn't even know it's her, thinking it's some woman she recommended...you get the feeling that's the only place she's getting regular meals, though there's a montage of her at some part-time low-paying jobs too. She's desperate.

So. This is a bit too real for me. Too close to home. I mean, I'm not divorced, but things aren't always good (that's life, yeah) and he's said things before, things he probably doesn't mean and maybe doesn't even remember saying, but they still go right to your heart, you know? There are times when I don't think I've heard a kind thing in ages; when I feel ugly and invisible, like I am the equivalent of furniture you keep around because you've always had it. I am the elephant of relationships sometimes; I don't forget. Can't forget. I know that happens to everyone. That is life. There are also times when everything is good, of course. Not saying there aren't.

But I haven't worked a regular job since 2005. Yes, I just sold two more books but writing kids books is not any way to make a living by any stretch. I've mostly been a mom who also writes. Every now and then I think I should get a job again, now that little dude is older, but it's just not feasible. My tech skills are WAY out of date. I can't go back to my old industry. Most anything I can get wouldn't pay for the childcare or it wouldn't work around it. Hell, it wouldn't pay for little dude's schooling. I've looked, most recently with the latest employment hiccup. Sent off a resume or two and never even got a response. What would I do if we did get a divorce? Or, the thing that really worries me, something happened to the husband? Because that's life too. Shit happens. Accidents. His aunt had a heart attack when she wasn't much older than he is now. That is my realest of real worries.  Maybe it's also because I have no backup in this country. All our family is in the US. And I can't go back there anymore, not to live. So if something does happen, that's it, it's just me. And little dude. So, yeah, this episode messed me up a bit. I didn't expect it, which probably made it more so. Sometimes, it isn't good to see yourself.

Anyway, back to the story. Though, in a way, that kind of sums it up for now. I mean, I know that she'll wind up working at his company somehow and that he'll sooner or later figure out that she's crashing at his house (her old place did get demolished) and that they'll fall in love. It's bound to end happy. And I like the leads together. It'll be okay. Because it's a show and it's not life. I will watch it, but dammit, I think this one will mess with me. I'll write more about it later after I've watched more.