Sunday, February 11, 2018

Jumin Loses His Marbles (Part V) & Seong Picks Up the Pieces

(Okay, this is Part V and is going to cover Day 8 of Jumin's route but there's a lot going on (six visual sections alone) and there's NO WAY I'm going to write it all out because I do, contrary to other evidence as supplied by this blog, have a life. I'm also going to try and fit it all in one big long post because this is rapidly becoming the Jumin Han show and that's just ludicrous. I am NOT going to cover flashbacks with Rika because this is Seong's story and if it's stuff she doesn't know, it doesn't make sense to put it here. This isn't a walkthrough. It's more like a character playthrough with fictionalised extrapolation. Am also going to expand it from 3rd person close perspective so I can add some inner Jumin thoughts without having to completely switch POV. It's lazy writing but I don't have the time to spend to do it properly and it's already gonna be long enough. I would though just like to say one thing...WTH happened to the Jumin in Zen's route who didn't believe in living together before marriage???)

Breakfast

As promised, Jumin was making strawberry pancakes for breakfast and the sweet smell permeated the penthouse. A somewhat bleary-eyed Seong, having put on the silk bathrobe that Jumin had kindly left at the foot of the bed--she wasn't sure when he'd done that, but she appreciated it--wandered out to the kitchen. The scene wasn't exactly as she had imagined it. He wasn't wearing pyjamas with his hair still messy from bed. He was already showered and dressed in his normal clothes. At least he'd left off the tie and jacket. It made her smile. He looked so devastatingly handsome but strange. Who cooked dressed like that? She suspected he didn't do a lot of cooking on his own. It was sweet that he'd wanted to cook for her when he certainly could have ordered something in.

"Good morning, Seong," said Jumin. "I hope you slept well." He didn't mention that he knew exactly how long and how much she had slept. He had caught some fitful naps himself but had spent much of the night sitting in the chair in the bedroom watching her. It had brought him such peace that he almost felt as if he had slept the night through. He took a good long look at her now, drinking her in. "Your sleepy eyes look very cute."

She blushed and looked away, missing the smile he gave her. She'd tried to comb through her hair with her fingers, but she knew she must look a mess. She hadn't even had a shower yet as she didn't have anything to change into. She really ought to get home.

They ate breakfast on the balcony. There was a small table against the railing, only just big enough to fit two chairs with potted plants all around, like a secluded garden corner. She wondered if he sat alone in this spot a lot. He'd had to borrow a chair from the dining room for her, placing it right next to his. Every time she moved, she could feel his leg next to hers.

The pancakes were delicious, if slightly lumpy. He'd made coffee as well and it warmed her a bit, but she was still cold. There was a chill in the air this high up, so early in the morning. She shivered in the thin robe.

"Are you cold?" asked Jumin, setting aside his fork. The temperature didn't seem to bother him.

"I'm fine," said Seong. "And thank you for breakfast."

He was staring at her again with those intense eyes like he was trying to see inside her head. "No, you are cold, aren't you? Come closer. I'll keep you warm." He put an arm around her and pulled her close to him until she felt like she was nearly on his lap. "Can't have you catching a chill," he said. He kept his arm wrapped around her.

"You won't be able to eat this way," said Seong. It was the only objection her brain could come up with. She was trembling now but it wasn't from the cold. He was only being considerate, right? The robe suddenly felt very thin but it wasn't the cold it wasn't keeping out. It was the heat.

"I...I've had enough," said Jumin. He hadn't thought this through. Now that he had touched her, had put his arm around her, he didn't want to let go. He was just keeping her warm. Yes. It was okay. He brought his other arm around as if he were just making sure her robe was on tight enough to keep the wind out but then left his hand on her waist. Was she shaking? She must really be cold. Perhaps they should go back inside? But then he'd have to let go. He didn't want to do that.

There was nothing for it. Seong took another bite. Chew. Swallow. She couldn't taste the pancakes now. All she could do was feel his warmth. She wasn't cold anymore. Did he know what he was doing? She looked up at him, trying to read the expression on his face. He was looking out over the city.

There was a bit of flour on his nose that she hadn't noticed earlier. "Oh," she said and reached up to brush it off before she thought about what she was doing. He jumped a bit and looked down at her, circled in his arms. "Sorry..." she said. "You had some flour on your nose."

His smile was dazzling. "Thank you for taking care of me," he said.

Seong managed to finish breakfast and they went back inside, bringing the plates with them but leaving them on the kitchen counter.

(To sum up...after breakfast, things seemed to be going well. She gets dressed in yesterday's clothes and feels a bit more steady being fully clothed. Jumin even admits, after Jaehee's last chat, that he needs to go into the office. Seong is glad. He seems to have recovered quite a bit. She should have known better...)

Elizabeth Disappears

(Okay, I was going to really write this part up, but instead I'm going to sum up...Jumin is showing Seong how to take care of Elizabeth the 3rd and lets the cat out of the cage. At the same time, the Chief of Security -- let's call him Ji-hoon--arrives to be introduced to Seong. Elizabeth makes a run for it probably because, like any reasonable creature, she doesn't want to be caged up. Jumin freaks out and this, I think, is his inciting incident--his break point. He's been headed here a long time, from the stepmother that hit on him once he got tall & handsome, to Rika & her manipulative friendship, to V and his unnecessary secrets, to his father's recent betrayal of his trust, and, yes, even his burgeoning feelings for Seong that he doesn't know how to process. He's a mess, this man. Seong offers to help look for the cat, but Jumin looks at her with slightly wild eyes and asks instead that she stay put. He can't take the thought of losing her too, not when he's just found her.)

The door closed behind Jumin. Seong didn't know what to do. She could see he was frantic, but what use was she here? She called Jaehee to break the news. There was no way Jumin would be making it into work, not now.

First Kiss

Elizabeth was still missing. Jumin was...well, outwardly he seemed calm and he spoke in a reasonable sounding voice, but Seong felt like there was something...broken about him. Maybe strangers would look at him and think that he was okay, that he was handling things, perhaps strangely, but handling them at least. But Seong could see that wasn't true. She was afraid for him. Not of him, as Zen kept insisting, but for him. Every phone call, every text, when she saw him...she saw a man walking on a tightrope. Could she keep him from falling off?

He had come back to the penthouse to see her. She suspected he was there partly to make sure she hadn't disappeared like Elizabeth. Ji-hoon, the guard, had been straightforward with her when she had asked. Mr. Han, he'd said, had left instructions that she was to be taken care of and kept safe, but that she wasn't to leave. The poor man had looked very uncomfortable, but she didn't push it. He was only doing his job and besides, she wasn't sure what Jumin would do if she did try and go home. She didn't think he could stand it. Had she really become that important to him? She had to admit to herself that he was important to her. It hurt her to see him looking so fragile.

Fragile. That was the word that kept coming to her as he stood in front of her. It was in his eyes. He looked like something that had already been broken--completely shattered--and then been glued back together but was only being truly held together now by strength of will. How many things had he lost in his life, to look like this?

He looked so very alone and he kept apologising. Maybe that was the worst part. He knew. He knew he was on the edge, looking over into some abyss only he could see. She had nearly worked up the courage to go to him and hug him, though she wasn't sure if it would help or hurt matters, when Ji-hoon interrupted them with the news that Sarah had arrived.

She was claiming to have information on Elizabeth the 3rd's whereabouts. Seong had her doubts and so did Jumin (though Seong was secretly pleased to see how little he wanted to let the woman in), but they couldn't take the chance that it was true. After all, that was what had led to Jumin locking up the cat in the first place, the fear that this woman would try and do something to Elizabeth.

Sarah tried her best to weasel her way in. Seong was shocked. The woman was absolutely shameless, but in the end she got her way and Jumin let her in so he could find out for sure what she knew. She claimed to have a photo.

When she came in, Seong tried her best to be unobtrusive, to fade into the background. The woman was taller than her and so...what was the word? Fancy? Shiny? She looked like she had just stepped out of a salon. A cloud of perfumed air followed her in, something unpleasantly musky. Her lipstick even matched her hair. And here was Seong, wearing yesterday's clothes and no make up at all.

When exactly does Jumin
watch soap operas? Hmmm?
But Sarah noticed her right away and wanted to know who she was. Demanded. Seong tried to explain that she was Jumin's friend but she didn't think the woman even listened. She called her a hookup. A hookup! Seong knew her cheeks were burning but she tried to hold her temper like Jumin was. The more strident the woman got, the calmer he seemed.

And the photo was an obvious fake once Sarah finally produced it. It wasn't Elizabeth. Seong suspected the woman had just found a photo on the Internet of some cat that looked a bit like Elizabeth the 3rd. But still the woman persisted. She wanted tea. She wanted Jumin. No...she wanted his money. And Jumin offered it to her...! Seong stared at him, shocked. She stepped closer. What was he doing? Was he seriously offering this terrible woman millions to go away? What was he thinking?

Sarah turned on her again, calling her even worse names, insinuating that she too was there for Jumin's money. Telling her she was plain. Ugly. Threatening to call the Chairman. Seong was shaking but Jumin was like the calm before the storm. She couldn't help herself. She stepped behind him if only so she didn't have to see the vile woman's face. But he stopped her and pulled her forwards, hands on her shoulders. "Seong Yi is not an average girl," he said. "What you see isn't everything. You won't understand, even if I explain it to you."

Seong was even more worried now but Sarah seemed about to launch into another diatribe. Did she not hear how calm and calculated his voice was? She could feel it. He was going to do something. She wasn't sure what. But something. This woman was pushing him too hard.

"There was something I wanted to do..." said Jumin. Then Seong was confused. He was talking about soap operas? He was telling her he was sorry? For what? He was going to do what soon anyway? What was going on? The look on Sarah's face told Seong that she was just as confused.

Oh, you sly dog, Jumin.
But then Jumin spun her around and put his hand beneath Seong's chin, a bit of her hair caught between his fingers. Sarah let out an angry exclamation of surprise as Jumin bent to kiss Seong softly -- so softly -- on the lips. It was a gentle kiss and it didn't last long, but long enough. No, not long enough.

"Ju--Jumin!?"

"Shh..." he said, pulling back just barely, his breath across her lips. He opened his eyes and looked at her. So close. He was so close. "You're blushing. You'd better close your eyes. Focus on your senses."

So help her, she did, not even caring anymore that Sarah was there watching them. He kissed her again, not quite so softly this time, his tongue briefly flirting with her bottom lip. Even though her eyes were closed, she knew somehow that his were open, watching her, watching her reaction.

Sarah was yelling something but Seong had no thought to spare for whatever it was the woman was saying. She had no thoughts at all, nothing beyond what his lips felt like, the taste of him. How long had it been since she had kissed someone? Had it ever been like this? No. Never. It had never felt like this.

"Your lips are so warm and soft," said Jumin, pulling away. She dropped her forehead to his chest, not sure where to look. "And...I think I smell a bit of the pancake?" Was he teasing her? "You're cute, Seong Yi."

Sarah stormed out, but Seong stayed where she was, her head against his chest, just breathing, until he took a step back. She looked at him and he looked away. What was he thinking? Had he done that just to drive that woman away? No, he wouldn't have done that, would he? That wouldn't be fair.

"Jumin...can we really do this?"

"To be honest...I wanted to kiss you from the first moment I saw you." He was still staring at the floor and messing with his shirt cuff, turning his cuff link around and around. "I'm sorry if that was too sudden. I wanted you to be comfortable here...Perhaps I've bothered you." He finally looked up. "But I don't regret what I did."

Seong opened and shut her mouth a few times, discarding every thought before she said it. She didn't regret it either--how could she? That meltingly sweet kiss? But she wasn't sure he was in the right frame of mind to be...well, to be starting something...something like this.

"Is this appropriate...when Elizabeth is missing?" was what she finally said. It wasn't what she really wanted to say, but it was the best she could come up with. She had the feeling that if she admitted how much she had wanted that kiss that they would wind up somewhere neither of them were ready to go yet.

"This has nothing to do with that. It's my emotions. And Elizabeth isn't here, but you are. Oh...I just realized something after the kiss. That you are indeed different from Elizabeth the 3rd."

(Seriously? Grrrr. What gave you a clue, Jumin? The lack of fur? The walking on two legs? That her breath doesn't smell like tuna? Poor MM MC's...Yoosung confuses her with Rika...Jumin with a cat...it's a wonder these poor girls don't have some kind of complex. Instead they are veritable saints..if they want to find their happily ever after, anyway.)

He went on, telling her how she was his special person, the only one to understand him. That he needed someone like her and not a cat. Someone like her? Or actually her? Would anyone have done with Elizabeth gone? Would he have kissed Jaehee if she'd been here instead? At least he did seem to understand that she wasn't a cat. God, what was she thinking? If he was that confused...

"You can be mine," he said. "That makes me so happy."

"Jumin...first, calm down. You were worried about Elizabeth a minute ago!" She wanted to say more, but she didn't dare. How much could she push, when he was like this? He was a man on a tightrope and he was looking at her like she was the only thing holding him to the rope. If she pushed, he might just jump.

"I want you. And I want you to want me too."

Her heart skipped a beat and she felt something almost like pain in her chest. She had to admit it to herself. She wanted him too. But not like this. She wanted to know he wanted her for the right reasons. That he wasn't just trying to replace his cat with her. That he wasn't using her to get out of an arranged marriage he didn't want. That she wasn't just a lifeline. If she wanted anything at all, it was a relationship. She didn't want to be a life preserver for a drowning man.

"I think any relationship needs time...Let's think about it. First, let's find Elizabeth."

He seemed to accept that, but she ached at the look on his face. He was saying he wanted her. All of her. Here with him.

She wanted to hug him then, but she couldn't. Not yet.

Jumin is Losing It

Zen. Oppa. You're still
my favourite. Because no matter
what, you are always trying to
look out for me.
To sum up...because there's way too much if I really tried to write it all out...Seong Yi stays at Jumin's penthouse because she feels he needs her there. Well, to be entirely truthful, she also doesn't want to test what would happen if she tried to leave. Ji-hoon has made it quite clear that he will do his job. She does at least get him to go to her apartment--her real one, not Rika's--and get her some clothes so that she can change. And he finds her a laptop to use so she can work. Luckily she keeps all her working files in the Cloud because she can't get her own laptop from Rika's.

Later that afternoon, though, packages start to arrive. Apparently Jumin had time inbetween visiting television stations and newspapers placing missing cat ads to order her some things. A few dresses, some shoes. Hair ribbons. Freshly prepared meals. But he makes it quite clear that he doesn't want her to leave the building. She calls him every chance she gets. He sounds like a drowning man to her. So she stays, even though Zen is about to have a conniption fit. The things he's imagining are a bit terrifying, to be honest, but with some of the things that Jumin has been saying...jesus...he did make that joke about the cage, didn't he? She has to keep Jumin calm. She's got to get him back to his senses.

And something strange is going on with Yoosung and 707. She's worried about that too. She does her best to fill her time with work and with answering prospective guest emails but Jumin's penthouse is beginning to feel a bit like a gilded cage.

Nighttime...and That Phone Call

Jumin was back home. They had dinner and some wine. He was being charming, if a bit...controlling. But there was no question that he was trying. He was just having trouble letting go. But she wanted to see him smile. A real smile. For him to not look like the weight of the entire world was on his shoulders. So even though they were in the same room, she took her phone out of her pocket and called him.

She watched as he picked up his phone and raised an eyebrow when he saw who the call was from. Would he answer? He did. She smiled to herself.

"There is no wall standing between us. You are in front of my eyes and I am in front of yours. But you call me and smile? Are you playing with me? This is fun."

She was at one end of the couch and he was at the other. He swung his legs up and around so that he was facing her. He was staring her in the eyes. Smiling. A devilish smile, perhaps. And suddenly, she was a little nervous.

"Still, I won't move. I just want to stay still and look at you until you want me so desperately."

She swallowed. Definitely nervous now. She felt a blush spread across her face and brought her fingers up to her lips. Was he staring at her lips? She was remembering their kiss from that morning. Had he guessed how much she had wanted him to kiss her again?

"...I love seeing you make that face. Let's just say it's my fantasy. You look at me like you want something."

She couldn't look away. She'd wanted to make him smile, but...

"Is there something that you want me to do?"

She couldn't stop herself. "If I tell you, will you play it out for me?" She couldn't lie, not with him looking at her like that. She tried to say it lightly, a bit like a joke, but her voice came out huskier than she had intended. She swallowed again.

"I've repeated the same words ever since you came here. I will do whatever you want. If it's me that you want, I will give myself to you."

A billion thoughts ran through her head. All of the things she had been thinking about since he had kissed her earlier. The things she had thought about late at night before she had even come here, listening to the rumble of his voice. Ah! No, no, she couldn't go that far--but she had to say something now, now that she had started this.

"Do you know...sleeping beauty?"

He did. Of course he did. Everyone knew sleeping beauty. She watched and listened as he told her the story, still sitting there across from her on the couch, long legs stretched out, feet crossed at the ankles.

"...But I enjoy looking at your wide eyes more so I will wake you up with a...kiss." He took a finger and touched his lips, smiling at her the whole while. He knew. He knew how much she wanted to feel his lips again. She closed her eyes. Breathe in, breathe out. She really, really need to catch her breath, slow her heart down, get ahold of herself.

"That face, you want to pretend that you're sleeping?" He laughed softly. "Let's see how long you can bear it until you open your eyes."

Her eyelashes fluttered but she kept her eyes closed. She felt the cushions of the couch shift as he moved. She'd forgotten the phone now. It fell from her hands but it didn't matter. She could hear him. He was right there in front of her.

"You can be more greedy. Much more greedy."

Could she? Did she dare? Her hands...she wanted to reach out to him but she didn't quite have the nerve to do it.

"You can act like a baby to me. I'm ready to do whatever it takes to satisfy you."

He was...coming to her. She could feel him as he crawled across the sofa towards her, over her legs, closer. She held her breath in anticipation. He was moving so slowly, so deliberately. And then he was there, his voice right in her ear. It didn't even matter what he was saying, she was at her limit. She reached out and pulled him to her, pulled his lips to hers. She didn't want to be Sleeping Beauty, some passive sleeping princess that things just happened to.

This kiss wasn't like the last one, soft and quick and over too soon. It was deep and long and she climbed out of it feeling out of breath, like she'd run a marathon. She finally opened her eyes. How long had they been kissing? It could have been a minute, an hour, a day. She had no sense of time anymore. Somehow she had slid down the couch and she lay underneath him. She could feel the weight of his body along hers, his knee between her legs. His face was flushed, his eyes heavy, staring down at her. If they were in a fairytale now, it would be the one with the Big, Bad Wolf.

"Ah," she said. That had definitely not gone as planned. She'd wanted to make him smile, that was all, but now...now. She'd lost herself there. It was too soon for this, too soon. With everything going on...no. How had she let it go so far? Oh, why couldn't it go farther?

She pulled herself up and happily he let her because if he had resisted at all, if he had kissed her again, she didn't know if she would have been able to stop. "Maybe, ah, maybe we should have some coffee? Or...something?"

He sat up and leaned back against the couch. "Yes, my princess. If that's what you want." He took a bit of her hair and twined it around his finger. "But someday, maybe we'll try another play. Any story you want. I know some good ones. Promise?"

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Coffee. She needed coffee. No. A shower. A long, cold shower.

(Continue on to Day 9...Seong the Patient (Part VI) and Wise)

(I didn't actually feel like this call should have been on this day. It's almost too early for it since Jumin spends most of the day acting like a bit of a freak and Seong Yi should be a bit more careful as if she encourages him too much he'll probably go off the deep end, BUT on the other hand, it was quite shmexy (at least in my head), as above. I actually found the djounishi below on Pinterest, though I couldn't locate the original source. Wish I could credit the artist. I'll try and search again when I have time. Really nicely done.)





No comments: