Quicksand

Last week was a hard week. Perhaps one of the worst weeks I've ever had. I won't say the very worst...I mean, there's the week my dad died, for instance. But this was a bad week, partly because of timing. I'm already on edge a bit with the hubby's new business venture and feeling like there's no fallback. No safety net anymore. I'm not sleeping well. Generally kinda stressed. Have gained all the weight back (also due to too many guests and not enough time to go to the gym, but whatever, it's excuses). Feel gross. Tired all the time. Fearful. Blood pressure a bit wonky. And mom isn't doing well...though it's hard to tell exactly how bad she is when mostly what I get are 11 PM texts from my sisters alternating between "she's ok" to "you better visit soon" but mom herself won't tell me anything. Anyway. This week.

It started when little dude got sick and had to stay home. That's always bad. I had an appointment for a massage already made and needed to go out to get stuff for dinner, so I thought I'd quickly run out while he slept some more (I did tell him before I left, of course). On the way there, just a mile and a half from the house, I hit some flooding. There were cars in front of me, and cars behind and people on-coming, so I didn't really have anywhere to go. I got over as far as I could but...got hit with a wave from oncoming traffic and the car just...died. Dead. Wouldn't start again. And I'm stranded in the flooding with a sick kid back at home. I was stuck there for nearly 2 hours while making phone calls trying to get a tow truck. The police closed the road (I wasn't the only one stuck, apparently). Couldn't get little dude on the phone, so I finally walked home and left the car. Little dude, luckily, had slept through it all. Finally got a tow truck hours later to come and had it towed to the service centre. That was the day gone. A very expensive, stressful day. And we've got a £3K deductible, more or less, so no matter what, we're going to be paying a big chunk. It's already been a week and still no car while we deal with the insurance and hope that it won't take a full engine rebuild.

Was finally recovering from that on Friday when I get a call from the school and I first had that heart-pounding moment of oh no little dude but it turns out it was because he took his backpack with him to their breaktime at the park and left it behind and someone stole it. With his new laptop in it. The £900 laptop. And his new bank card. Keys. School books. Everything. Tracking all that mess and whoever took it used his bank card almost immediately after. Luckily we don't keep much on it. So filed a police report, etc. And little dude was devastated. It was his first experience with something like this. I think, probably, his first time realising how shit people can be.

It all just feels like quicksand, burying me.

BUT.

In good news, my editor finally sent me the draft of the cover image and the character designs from the illustrator and they are AWESOME. Honestly, it was my one good thing in a week of absolute shit. Thankful for that timing or it would have been unrelenting.

And...that's all I'm gonna say about all the crap for now. Trying not to dwell on it.