1. They need to be right. Every disagreement becomes a battle instead of a conversation. They don’t prioritize connection. They prioritize winning. Over time, this makes you feel small, unheard, and emotionally unsafe.
2. They can’t take feedback. Even gentle observations feel like “attacks” to them. Instead of self-reflecting, they get defensive or flip it back on you. This blocks growth and makes every repair attempt feel impossible.
3. They’re highly reactive or impulsive. Their emotions run the show. They go from zero to sixty, take things personally, or escalate small issues. You end up walking on eggshells just to keep the peace.
4. They don’t apologize, they justify. Instead of owning their impact, they explain, deny, minimize, or blame. A lack of accountability is one of the clearest signs of low capacity.
5. They constantly cross boundaries. Jokes are at your expense. Teasing that hits too deep. Ignoring your no. Not because they’re playful, but because they may lack awareness of their impact and assume you’ll tolerate it.
6. They make every conversation about them. Interrupting. Comparing your experience to theirs.
Shifting the spotlight. You walk away feeling invisible, even though you were the one opening up.
7. They can’t hold space for your emotions. When you’re sad, stressed, overwhelmed, or vulnerable, they shut down, avoid, rush you, or get irritated. Emotion feels like pressure to them instead of partnership. This is the core reason relationships with low-EI partners feel lonely, even when they’re physically present.
These seven signs of low emotional intelligence quietly erode connection, trust, and emotional safety. You don’t need a perfect partner, but you do need one who’s self-aware, accountable, and able to sit with emotion without feeling threatened by it. Or the relationships will always feel confusing and stressful.
And Jeepers Creepers, every one of those things is Textbook T. Every single last thing, though he'd probably deny some of them. He'd be wrong though. All the Things.
I suppose he has apologised a bit since he made the decision to leave me, but not before that.
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