Once a day

I had an idea for another experiment, but I'm already starting to feel like it's stupid. See, I know that I'm not an ugly person. Fatter than I have ever been (well, minus the 7 pounds I've lost), sure, but I'm not hideous or anything. But I don't like taking pictures of myself generally. Heh. Didn't really even when I was a whopping 85 lbs. in high school. So I usually don't. With over 2000 pictures on my phone, there's really only a handful of them that are of me. So I created a new Instagram account to take a picture of myself, once a day. I was going to just post pictures here, but that requires more steps and takes longer, so I thought Instagram would be better. Because, hey, all about making it easy, right?

So. Have done it like six days now. But it feels kinda self indulgent and stupid. Well, this is self indulgent too. I suppose I'm wallowing in it, yes?

Anyway, not sure how long I will keep it up. The idea was this new age-y idiocy of trying to make me feel better about myself but I am really rubbish at that. I have a skeptical heart. We'll see how long it lasts. I didn't think to make it private at first and weirdly one of my writer friends followed it so now poor Sophie is going to wonder about my mental health.

So...that picture above was taken on my way to the US Embassy to officially renounce my citizenship. It was a really weird, surreal experience. I've never been the type of gung-ho patriotic person to go Rah Rah about anything and it hasn't felt like home there for quite a long while now (especially the last couple of years, when every news article just makes me despair)...but...it was still sad. Made more so because the entire building was quiet. Afternoons there aren't busy, according to the guy I talked to -- just a handful of appointments. But the dead silence and echoing footsteps made everything feel even weirder.

I'll admit I cried a little bit that day. And I can't even pinpoint a particular reason or feeling for it, really. It was just a sad.