Guilt and Weirdness; The World is On Fire

There's so much happening that I feel like I ought to at least try and summarise things. I'm certainly thinking about them enough. Every time I think, ah, some breathing space, and then something else happens. But I can't really complain. Or, I shouldn't, really. Unlike some people, I'm relatively healthy. While things aren't totally rosy and one bad thing could tip me over an edge I don't want to even approach, I'm not suffering economically. It's been tough with mom dying and a friend dying, other friends being sick. But I'm still here and going on. So, yeah. Things could be worse.

But the world is on fire.

I mean that in both a literal and figurative sense. Ha. Just a few months back, it was Australia burning. It was bad. Is bad. But now it's riots and cities burning. Police violence has been an ongoing issue for a long time, especially against black people. The one that kicked everything off (though there were a number of really horrible incidents in a short amount of time) was the murder of George Floyd, captured on camera as he begged for air and his mother. His crime? Possibly using a fake $20 bill--in which the store owner even says most people don't even realise they have them. And, apparently, it wasn't even fake in the end. He didn't resist. But a white cop put a knee on his neck and held him down for about 9 minutes, while three others kneeled on his back. While bystanders pleaded with them to let the man breathe. It was bad.

Should I even talk about the other ones? Breonna Taylor. In Louisville, KY, a place I once lived. Shot dead in her own home after being awakened by a horde of cops who didn't even identify themselves and were acting on bad intelligence (the person they were looking for was already in custody).

So, in the middle of a pandemic, now we're also seeing protests -- some peaceful, some not -- all over the world, but especially in the US. It's just bad.

And people are also going to die because the coronavirus isn't remotely contained and mass protests are going to spike things again. Of course, it's also going to spike because places have been reopening and some people are just flocking to parks and beaches and not social distancing at all.

I--I just don't know. Everything feels like such a shitshow right now. There's no comfort or respite. It's all hate and illness and death.

I was gonna write up some more about other stuff; the house, little dude's school, whatever, but meh, I'm just done today. Stick a fork in me.